The reason I am still on this app is more so than my freedom, dignity, family or health, the factor time
It needs to be clear that we all have very little time. To be exact only this very moment. One may argue we all have decades to come and that is likely true, but any human who has a lot of some ressource, will waste a lot of it, often until most is gone.
This can be avoided by using ressources sparingly. If I believe I have very little time, there has to be something important for me to use it.
Even better, with the time I have right now, I can work towards getting even more time in the future .
Thats why even though it seems like the best way to spend time on drugs in the moment, the time that will be lost in the future is in no relation to the “fun”, no matter how right it feels in the moment to spend. And we all know that if we “once” spend time on drugs it makes us waste a whole lot of time.
Its not just the time of getting, using the drug, but all the time we think about our DOC, not enjoying the moment, and the yesrs of lifetime we cut away by using. Its the using “friends”, the walk to a bar, the lighting of a cigarette, etc, justification tells us the lost time seems so small, but if were being honest, we waste a whole lot of it.
It hast to be number one priority though, to not lose time! We have very little of it, this may be the last year, month, second were alive, no one knows. Wasting time with anything seems so harmless but it is our most valuable ressource.
There are ways to use time wisely, I am no expert, but exercise and healthy food for example dont just make fun in the exact moment but also grant more lifetime. Reading, educating, travelling, (creating) art, family time, good (sober) friends use time wisely, the gift that is time is used the right way and we will know and feel that for sure.
While thinking about this the past few weeks, I feel intense sense of dread, because in my mind, Ive done the greatest sin: Wasting time. I seem to have wasted nearly two and a half years, and I will never get this time back. It makes me feel ashamed of myself, how can I waste time so consciously, be passive, throw these valuable years of my youth away, it makes me feel worthless compared to the people who use their time wisely.
Luckily, time exists, and for the past weeks Ive learned to use it wisely. And I have to say, using time in a wise way, no matter what it is, and sober, is the best thing happening to my life. It makes me thrive it makes me stronger, more healthy, more sexy haha, more creative. With everyday I use time more I love life more and get smarter in handling my time.
This if how we can preserve a “pink cloud”. Sober life doesnt have to be a pink cloud. Life is hard, and being sober is just one part of the work. But using time wisely makes getting and staying sober so much easier, and it strengthens your life.
Being disciplined causes being high on Life, being productive causes the pink cloud, but one has to start exactly now.
Thanks for reading sorry for long post