Hi everyone,
Tonight I am struggling not to grab the bottle but I I I came across this app, so I’m going to start by using this as an outlet.
Long story but I try to shorten it for you all… 5 years ago i left my best friend who was struggling with bipolar disorder in nz to start a new life in Australia.
I found my now husband, brought a house, living in a small isolated town still keeping in contact with my bestie nearly every day. No one understood me like she did she was like my sister.
Life got hard, I had a miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies and alot of my friends had left town to find work elsewhere, the didn’t have a mortgage so it was much easier for them to get up and go.
I was always in touch with my bestie, going back to nz at least once a year and spending most of my time with her rather than family… She was like family.
Last year she lost her battle with her own mind and took her own life, 3 months later i got married. One bridesmaid down. I’ve been struggling with her death ever since.
I hit the bottle hard, my husband hardly knows how much I would drink as he works away for weeks at a time and that doesn’t help with the loneliness.
A few weeks ago we hit the “year since it happened” mark and I thought from now It would help me slow up on my drinking… It didn’t.
However, last week we went to the doctor for information on why we weren’t getting pregnant… Turns out i have high blood pressure and I’m not producing enough eggs and now the doctor is talking about Ivf.
I know my drinking needs to stop because i really want to start a family… but I get so bored and lonely and drunk me is kind of exciting and at that moment i feel happy and forget about everything. I would be drinking at least 3 Bottles of vodka a week.
Anyway… This was meant to me a short story haha sorry!! For those of you still reading, thanks!
I’m only on day 5 but for me that’s good believe me!