Loss of Child & Alcoholism

Several years back I stayed sober for about 4 months using this app and will power.
I have so much guilt now that I didn’t do more back then, tremendous guilt.

If living with alcoholism wasn’t hard enough…On 12/15/22 I lost my youngest son (15) in a car accident. He was the only fatality among a group of teens heading back to school during their lunch break.

I attempted suicide on 2/24/23 because I’m in unbearable pain. I have 2 grown boys 29 & 25, and 3 grandchildren. I’d never want to hurt them or anyone else close to me. But, damn it’s been a struggle trying to live after the loss of my youngest son.

I’m almost a week sober. And I think I’ve gotten the resources in place to help me stay the sober course this time, as a result of my recent EOD - Emergency Order of Detention (psych ward stay).

Not sure what I’m looking for or why I’m sharing all this, but this app was helpful in the past. Hope everyone is doing better then myself.

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Im sitting here reading your story and my heart is aching for you, im so sorry for your loss. Im a little scared to talk to you because i cant begin to understand how much pain uve been through but im going to try because i feel so much compassion for you, i wish i could give you the biggest hug ever…im sending some big love your way, you deserve a better life…vent as much as you need we are all here for you :heart: :people_hugging:

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My heart truly goes out to you, the pain must be unbearable.
I have lost a child (adult) too and gave in for a couple of years to upping my alcohol intake to drown my misery, before getting sober finally when I realised it just didn’t do me any good.
I applaud you for getting sober during such a traumatic time. It’s not a crutch that’s needed.
You are needed and wanted by those you love and who love you, don’t give up giving up and try to get through each day as it comes whatever the rollercoaster of emotions that will engulf you.
Sending many hugs to you xx

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I’m so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart that other parents have experienced the loss of a child. Thank you for your encouragement. I truly needed to hear it. Much love and many hugs!

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Well shit, Jo and Christine. My heart just breaks for you both. I can’t imagine, my dear friends. Please forgive me for not have the words to better express my deepest sympathies for what you both are dealing with.

I have to think there are online support groups focused on dealing with this kind of grief. I bring this up because sober community support is so integral to my sobriety, I would think a community around grief would work the same way.

In awe and inspired by you both.

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First off, i am so incredibly sorry for the pain you are feeling. I remember my grandmother saying after she lost her 1st son to drugs that no parent should ever feel the pain of losing a child. She then lost another when my father took his own life when i was 19.
I promise you, the pain you are feeling now will be felt so much more by the children you have left, if you were to leave this world before your time. Its been almost 20 years, but i will never forget the moment i learned my father had chosen to leave us.
I am SO incredibly inspired by how you are doing this hard work while grieving, i know that i wasnt able to, and went thru many years of addiction trying to control and tame my ptsd from his suicide. YOU ARE STRONG, RESILIANT, AND AMAZING, and you are doing great. :heart:

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Words cannot even describe how unbelievably strong you are - Im reading this with tears in my eyes, from one mum to another the fact that you are on here is incredible

Im so sorry for your loss :heart:

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So sorry to hear of your tragedy. I can’t imagine. Don’t want to imagine. Did your EOD give you any contacts for further support? For the drinking and the grief?

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Christine, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Im glad you found your way back here. I hope you can find joy and sobriety in your life.

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You are on my mind. I’m sending healing hope your way. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m inspired by your courage to take on sobriety and share your story with us.

I can only think that in your situation, one hour at a time to get to one day at a time of sobriety and any sense of peace must be a big challenge. I hope you have various resources and supports as I can’t imagine any one thing will ease the pain in a quick way.

I am holding you close in my heart and hoping each breath brings you closer to peace.

Yes, in fact I have an appointment today, on a Saturday. And several others upcoming. I did get lots of good resources as a result of the EOD.

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Thinking of you and sending much love your way. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your self here. :heart:

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