So today makes 5 months I’ve been clean and sober off Meth. I had to sit some jail time back in July. I got released July 12th. That same day my mom died while I was getting released. I’m doing my best not to relapse. The 12th of this month will make 1 month that my mom passed away. My question is 'what can I do to not relapse and try to stay positive at the same time? ’ thank you
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I’m so sorry about ur mom 
that is incredibly hard. Was ur mom a big support for you?
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She’s looking down on you and proud of you!! You have an angel in your corner! She loves you! It seems hard to carry on, but one moment at time. You are loved!
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Hope your ok 
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Thank you and yes, My mom was a big support to me through my drug use. And even though I know she is proud of me and watching over me, I just want to be able to hear her voice one more time say ‘I’m proud of you’ and it just hurts that I’m never gonna hear that again. And I’m over this emotional rollercoaster that I’m on from day to day.
Thank you. I’m trying my best to be.
Damn I’m really sorry to hear that. Just know that using will not make anything better. If you make it through this sober you will know you can make it through anything and that is power. Take day by day… hour by hour if you need to. Hugs to you
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You are more right than you know. Thank you for sharing this. This is a heartfelt moment for me. I met my wife in AA and our sponsors at the time told us not to make any major decisions within our first year. So we waited and on our one year anniversary in the program we got married in the fellowship right in front of the twelve steps and twelve traditions. Our marriage lasted ten years before she passed away from diabetes.
Yes it was difficult at first. But she inspired me to grateful for what I have she taught me that. As I look back over the last 30 years of my sobriety I can honestly say that those were the best ten years of my life. The fond memories that I have of holding candle light meeting on our home for the love and fellowship and the fellow members that we helped inside our home still drives my love and passion for the fellowship to this very day
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The loss of a loved one in recovery is one of the hardest things to handle. There is NO easy way to do it but to go through it. I have lost a few really important people in my life during my recovery (husband, brothers, mother, etc). It does not get easier. Grief has its own process. Like I heard someone say one time “to love much is to grieve much”. I was blessed in that I had some time in the program and was on a stronger footing. All I know and this is just me, I beefed up my meetings, I started a group meeting in AA for those who were going through this sad time, I worked really, really hard on my spirituality ( pray and mediation). one day at a time, and most important I CRIED. I did not fight the saddness but made friends with it because even saddness is a part of me being human and not to be feared, but embraced and honored. Try to be with people! Just know you can do this as many have before you rely on their wisdom and strength and in time you will be able to be there for others. God bless little one! Thank you for being vulnerable and asking the tough question. That is the biggest step in wanted a clean life.
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Yes that is absolutely correct. Thank you for sharing it is deeply respected and honored.
I’m so incredibly sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my dad in March and let’s just say — this fucking SUCKS! I will say, I had a brief relapse when my dad died and i can say from personal experience it without a doubt did not make anything better. We all know it will just numb and delay the inevitable stages of grief that you will rotate through (sometimes more than once).
Remind yourself of the good times and that your mom IS proud of you. I talk out loud to my dad at times and it helps. Maybe you could try that. Or go to a grief group / counselor if the resources are available to you. Keep checking in here as much as you need. A lot of us have similar experiences and I’ve honestly never seen someone say “my relapse made the healing better!”… because it won’t. Big hugs 
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Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. I’ve never been one to stay close to people but my AA family that I have I stay close to them especially on the 12th I will be. I guess one of my hardest things is that I haven’t allowed myself to cry, I’ll be catching myself and then the emotion stops right away cuz I don’t want anyone to see me as weak but I know it’s not a sign of weakness. I’m still learning this whole grieving process. But again thank you all.
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Thank you and that’s the same thing that I’ve been telling people as well. This is my TRIAL right here and if I can get through this sober than I can get through everything sober. And I’m proud of myself for doing it.
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Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss as well. And I’ve only had the thought once of wanting to use. And like you said it will only take the numbness away for a small amount of time but I would feel so much regret and be ashamed of myself. I’m glad to have all of you to talk to.
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Urges will come but also remember they will go. Stay strong!