Hi,
I’ve been sober 14 months. Yay! But I don’t care. I am just so lost and confused, and depressed. I don’t understand anything, I can’t find my true self, something to live for, or anything positive. I’m stuck in my parents’ house and I can’t drive. I just don’t know what to do with myself and don’t remember what is in the real world to live for. My family is very unsocial, stuck watching tv or staring at their computers all day. So there’s not much to do or be inspired by them. So I play on the computer and watch tv looking for hope. I just don’t remember what is out there and I can’t explore on my own since I can’t drive, and all my family does is go grocery shopping or walk dogs out there. I’m so tired and depression only fatigues me further. I’m lost and just see nothing to live for. Any ideas? : ) I can’t find any. Thanks.
How about an AA meeting where you can meet like minded people?
And, well done on your sobriety! I’m very inspired by it.
Sounds like you’re in a rural area where you’re not able to walk to a local library or something like that.
Congratulations on your time being sober
Don’t know how old you are whether you’re in your teens or 20s or 30s or 40s or what, or even older.
Changes are something that you’re going to have to do on your own.
Consider talking to your doctor about how you feel. It could be that changes in your diet, suggestions on how you can get involved somewhere or even medication might help you.
It might be that AA might be a nice place for you because it is a group situation.
It might be that job might be helpful for you because it is out in the public. Same goes for school or church. I realize you have the burden of not having the drivers license and you can’t get places
You have to start somewhere. you are showing a willingness to want to make a change by posting on the site and saying that. Hopefully, if you found something you were interested in, you might be able to get a ride from the people in your household or from somebody else. I’d say start with your family doctor, best of luck to you. I hope that you will have a good change soon and again congratulations for your days quit
Thank you both for your positive words. Those are nice to hear. I know I need to find something of interest to live for, but I just don’t understand what that means. I kind of lost my memory after being on benzodiazepines for my epilepsy. It warped my vision, hearing, etc and messed up my memory and understanding of reality. That’s why I think I turned to the alcohol. I don’t really remember what are things of interest to do in this world for fun or to live for as a goal to life or something. I see this house with dogs that are too big for me and being stuck in the middle of nowhere, and I see tv that is not real. I don’t remember reality, interests, goals of life to work towards. What do you all do for fun, hope, or are your big goals of life? Reasons to get out of bed? I kind of just keep seeing get up eat and go back to bed to then do it all again tomorrow. Thanks.
Those are big questions. I have kids and a job, so external things that require me to get out of bed. And although they bring their own stresses I do wonder how I would manage without them, what I would do if (and in the case of kids when) they don’t need me anymore.
For me studying a language (easy to do online classes now) keeping fit (plenty of channels on YouTube) are things I am trying to improv myself with. Music and reading and Netflix just for fun.
Maybe start small? Could you start cooking and find different recipes etc? Gardening? Crafting?
Hmm, Interesting. I was trying cooking for a while but then kind of lost interest and it was too hard to cook with the summer heat. Maybe exercising and crafting. I was considering trying painting, but didn’t really know how to learn how to do that. Anybody know of good simple beginner classes of fun things like painting? Thanks again.
Or what about online volunteer work? Has anybody done that and know how to start doing it? I want to volunteer and help others, but I don’t know what I can do and since I can’t drive I think I need to do it online. I’m not quite sure what are good things to search for. I can’t really think of anything. Any ideas? Thanks.
It sounds like you’re in desperate need of real world connection.
As alcoholics we subscribe to the idea of one day at a time - for you I think one question at a time or one step at a time.
So- step one - can you ride a bicycle? If you can then at least it is possible for you to get out and start to form real world connections. If not, could learning to ride a bicycle become goal one? I grew up in a rural area and I had to ride everywhere. As an example my nearest swimming pool was 15 miles, cinema 25 miles…
Theres plenty of hobbies you can access on line and zoom meetings aswell , Reason to get out of bed lifes so short have to make every day a adventure we can change our lifes but cant take back time walking is good getting your vitamin B , Nothing changes till you change it wish you well
Hi
First if all, those are big questions, almost impossible to answer.
I’ve got kids, and a husband that can’t take care of himself or move around without help. He got a back injury from a traffic accident.
So like most of the people here I have to get out of bed.
Regarding my purpose in life, I thought for a long time that my only purpose was to so pretty much everything people wanted me to do. And Only excited for other people.
Now I know it’s not that way. I’d say that no one has or get a clear purpose, it’s nothing that comes with a spark of inspiration or as a lightning from above.
You just do life, sometimes you find a point in doing what we do everyday. Sometimes you don’t, a lot of people myself included has been wandering around looking for that purpose.
And that’s because we don’t really have a purpose or gets one, that’s because we create it for ourselves.
If you can’t go anywhere (I don’t have a driver’s license myself and we live off grid outside a small farmers village) try to find things online you might like. Try to take a walk in the surroundings whatever it might be and see if you can find something.
Make a list of things you would want to try. And try to find out something that you enjoy doing and do it everyday. It doesn’t have to be big things. Personally I’ve made it a thing to have my morning tea looking out the kitchen window, just looking at the day and the world. .
I hope it all turns out to the best for you.
Thanks again for the positive advice. I like the idea of a bicycle. That’s amazing that you could ride a bicycle for that many miles. Wow! I was also curious about the online hobbies comment. What kind of online hobbies are you talking about? I can only think of book clubs. What else exists and how do you find them? Thanks. Yeah, I think I need to create my purpose. I guess I need to experiment first. I just always get stuck at even finding ideas I think due to what the benzos did to my memory. I think I need to find some online hobbies that I can easily get started when I need to since they’re in the house. I’m just still kind of confused about what are fun online hobbies to try. Got any ideas besides book clubs? Thanks again.
Try Jesus…Get yourself a bible and read it as much as possible daily and you will get so close to God that he will fill your empty void. After he fills you with love and a purpose you will feel satisfied. Ive been walking with the Lord for almost 30 years and hes been my best friend through most of my adult life.
If you’re in the US, many museums and archives are looking for volunteers to help transcribe old texts into web-based documents (helping with searches and enables researchers). A friend was transcribing journals from the civil war, and it was fascinating!!
Interesting ideas. Thanks. How’d he find that volunteer job? Is there a certain website used to easily search for volunteer work in the area one lives?
hey @MochaSwirl your genuine curiosity and openness is inspiring! keep riding that wave, it’ll take you to cool and interesting places! first comes your desire and curiosity, then comes the questions, and then come some answers, then comes trying new things, exploring and discovering! you will start to learn about what you do enjoy. there will also be things you don’t care for, so make sure to keep your curiosity afloat and simply adjust your sails as you head into the mystery of what really makes you excited! it could be anything, and you’re on your way to finding out! this is a beautiful start, congratulations 
Hey there! I have been in your shoes of not driving and living in a “stuck” situation. I’ve done things from yard work/projects. Small daily tasks. Try creating art with anything you find around not being used. Get creative. Reorganize your entire bedroom. Find an instrument to get into. Ukulele or something. I’m not one to make feel pressured about church or God, but I am a man of God. Was living a horrible life for a long time. Jesus helps in every way you never could imagine. If you can find your way to a church or get on Facebook or something for one of your local churches. People there start to become like family. I bet you’ll find someone willing to give you a ride. Folks with good souls know and will literally go out of their way for a brother/sister in need 
Stay strong and positive. Start praying in the morning and night. Just a random convo with how you’re feeling. To whoever you want. It really helps. You’re being listened to always 
Lots of good ideas for you. You mentioned painting. This is an $18.00 USD watercolor set. With it and some watercolor paper you’d be set to paint. Let your imagination go. Of course there will be you tube tutorials.
I have no idea about this brand, I am not suggesting it, it was simply what popped up when I searched watercolor sets. Very portable and easy to use.
Bicycle around and paint. Make cookies and offer them as a gift to someone. A random act of kindness, even.
Some of the members of the site are simply going outside to sit
on the ground to feel grounded. This is ‘a thing’ and very beneficial to the person as a whole.
Again congratulations on your time free from alcohol, sounds like free from benzodiazepines also.
Looking fwd to more updates.
Thanks again for all the ideas and interesting ways of phrasing things too. I think I’m going to look some more into some art projects and continue trying to cook on the few days that aren’t too hot this. I hope everyone continues to have a good summer. Thanks again!