I’m sure that in most of your experiences, if you have ever been arrested on a DUI or OWI, you’ve had to attend a Victim Impact Panel. If you haven’t, I pray you never have to. MADD or Mothers Against Drunk Driving, does not focus on the real issues. What started as a well intended group have changed into a damaging, unhelpful bureaucracy. I’m NOT saying it’s ok to drink and drive. But is it really worth ruining a persons life over? Now, my choices have gotten me here. I realize and accept that. But for fucks sake, when is enough, enough? I know guys that have had their licence taken away for years. YEARS. 15 years for one friend, 17 for another, and 5 years for another. Many people still view driving as a privilege, as does MADD (they will flat out tell you so), but it isn’t anymore. It is a necessity. I lost a good paying job not because of my drinking or arrest or recovery or any of that, but because I lost my licence for such a long period of time (over a year now). I haven’t been able to find a decent job since because either no one will hire me because of no license or they require one, even if you don’t drive for the job. Never once did I cause an accident, drive recklessly, any of that shit but everyone repeats the “but you could have”. So I’m being punished for what “could have” happened, and not based on what did happen. Got it. And MADD will inly preach and support abstinence, which doesn’t work, nor will the aid or sponsor any sort of recovery program or AA or NA. Its just “alcohol is evil and so are you for drinking it”. I needed to vent because I’m seriously frustrated with all the hoops I’m having to go to to get somthing back that I pay taxes on to help maintain. Privilege my ass.
Im probably not going to give you the answer you are wanting. But i needed to hear the truth when getting sober!
I got a DUI back in 2013. I too has to jump through hoops to get my license back. I had my license suspended, probation for a year, had to take the DUI classes, pay fines, a crap ton of fines, go to rehab, community service, and so forth. And i know you’re angry about your situation, but those are your consequences, from alcohol or drugs, which ever. There will always be consequences to drinking and using, always. It took me a long time to realize that it was my actions and my actions only, that put me in the situation i was in. No one elses fault. I made the choice to drink and use and drive, luckily not killing myself or someone else. But it was the chance i took. And i had to pay the consequences man. I had to stop blaming and take responsibility for my actions. Which had been a process for me, but i had to realize it was no ones fault but mine honestly. And once the anger died down i was able to move forward. And unfortunately, there will always be consequences…
AA and NA does work if you work the program. But you have to be willing. Quitting all together was the only option for me man. I was tired! It was more trouble then fun at the end for me. Just wasnt worth it anymore for me…
I agree, the times I drove after a couple too many I was incredibly cautious. Being drunk by itself is not what causes accidents. Nobody wanted to say that though
I got a DWI and it steered me in the right direction. Yeah, going to the meetings are inconvenient, and the fines are robbery. But it was definitely an eye opener.
Here is the thing though, not only have I been sober since my arrest almost 2 years ago and plan to stay that way, and still go to AA 3× a week even though my probation ended almost a year ago, that does not matter to the court system. They have let a civilian committee sway how the law should be which is wrong. I realize I made the choice as I said. What I’m wondering exactly is were does the punishment fit the crime of “what could have happened”? If we are charging based off assumptions and what ifs, the punishments can fall any way they want which is not legally fair.
I’m ok with the fines and the meetings. What I’m not ok with is taking away the means for someone livelihood. I myself have to ride a bike 6 miles to work, work 8-10 hours on my feet all day, then 6 miles back home. In all weather. Did it all through the winter too. Somtimes had walk because it was faster. Then on days I have meetings (3× a week) tack on an extra 2 miles.
Sorry Jim,
I have to respectfully disagree. I had the ability to avoid contact with MADD, and what you’ve termed “its bureaucracy”, and VIP, and whatever system they preach, by not drinking and driving.
American DUI Laws are pretty lax in comparison to those in Europe and other places as I understand it.
I feel like your argument only offers others a chance to excuse their poor decision making. Our choice, I did it too, risks ruining someone else’s life. The toll MADD may take on us for our decisions is minuscule in comparison to the fact that you or I’m outdoors have easily taken or ruin someone else’s life.
Very simply, this argument is faulty and moreover potentially damaging. We can’t redirect blame for our decisions or attempt to place blame for our decisions at someone else’s feet.
Sorry. I can’t agree.
Best,
Chandler
Drunk drivers are ruining lives.
As I said, I’m not redirecting blame or trying to say what I did was not wrong, what I am saying is that it isn’t right to levy a punishment based on what ifs or could haves
@Nullcorp please don’t spread that nonsense around here “I drove after a couple too many and was incredibly cautious,” being drunk in itself DOES cause accidents. Just because you felt a certain way when you were intoxicated is by no way a measure of how impaired you really were… sorry but your comment is very misleading.
Im from UK and talking on a phone is a no no too… Unsecured pets in a moving vehicle (distraction risk) is a no no… Eating whist driving is a no no… Speeding is a no no… Drink/ drug driving is a no no… Because it increases a risk of an accident to happen. My neighbour got caught drink driving, eating chips and talking on the phone whilst speeding… Becuase of his job and being a first ‘offence’ he had a ton of points and a huge fine but kept his licence… I wanna say there was a cat in his car loose which was a main cause of distraction (injured pet) or a dog who went ballistic…
@Jim, how drunk were you? First time caught under influence? 2 years seems a lot…
‘being drunk by itself is not what causes accidents’… Sorry… What?
Okay let’s play the game. @Jim. What sentence would you be happy with. What level of punishment should be administered on you? I get that you think you are being punished for what you could of done but you ARE BEING punished for what you did do. I kinda agree 2 years is not the typical for first offense. It’s usually maybe a month and then terms of conditions to your driving.
SNIP!
- Saul
2 dui for me and $20, 000 in fines, 18 months with interlock device, lost of 2 good jobs, family problems, stress to the roof, jail time, and the list can go on and on, it was rough while going through all this for me, but i am sober today, so maybe all that had to happen for me to finally quit drinking. And after all that I was still drinking 4 years later. Alcohol is very powerful, and drinking and driving very dangerous, and I lost both of my cars as well.
Let’s just use your argument next time you need a surgery…let’s let you pick the doctor same qualifications but one is drunk one sober. You said it all DWI “influenced”. I’m as conservative as you can get but I still don’t get your logic.
I was once cath’d by a urologist who was at least three martinis into his weekend. He was pissed to be called in because he was on vacation, and the nurses tried four times to cath me but couldn’t.
That fact is, he did a fine job, and I could tell he was lit. The fact is, he did nothing wrong, committed no crime, committed no offense, other than he was not fully facultative and quite a bit pissed off.
Alcohol and drug use proliferates in the military and with our law enforcement, the fire departments are chock full of meth addicts, many teachers keep booze in their car and beneath their desk, but if they manage to function, who cares?
Seriously. Who cares?
The sobriety would have NOTHING to do with my choice of a doctor. I would look at their past performance and go with the best one. End of story. Their BAC has nothing to do with it, until it affects their performance.
That’s the point, and you missed it completely. They are being convicted of someone else’s sins. For instance, if you are black and a black guy commits a crime, should we not convict all blacks?
It’s like that, literally. That is OP’s beef. Had he hit and killed someone, no sympathy, other than I would wonder why his conviction was far more harsh than a sober person who committed the same offense.
We cannot and should not convict someone of a crime until AFTER it is committed.
- Saul
You are advocating the closest alcoholic in this statement on a sobriety board. WTH was I a functional alcoholic yes until I wasn’t. I wish you the best. I am aware what the OP point was and it has a flaw in it because it is illegal to drink and drive period.
Can I ask why you were originally pulled over? I’m guessing it wasn’t to award you a medal for your driving skills.
@Saulgoode45 if you feel like alcohol and drug use in the workplace is nothing to shake a feather at, then why are you even here? Why are you justifying alcohol and drug use so much? Are you trying to say that it is OKAY for someone to drink and drive as long as they dont get caught? If what you are saying is the truth then none of us would need a forum like this… People would go to work everyday intoxicated and the whole world would be this happy, intoxicated heaven… maybe your life hasn’t yet been directly affected by the affects of drunk driving. Your making it sound like you are supporting drunk driving, and that my friend is absolutely ridiculous Your arguments are so flawed its hard to read without shaking my head…Also, Please review the forum rules and guidelines section of the forum, “Don’t sign your posts — every post has your profile information attached to it.”