Ugh. Just need to vent. I work on a tugboat and we were tied up. Its my job to tend the lines and make sure they are correct. I over thought things with our stern line, i took it off to adjust and the current got inside the boat and the dock, so we had to flip around.
I know it seems like a minor fuck up, but its not. Its very competitive and reliability is important. Most importantly i didnt tell anyone and tried to it on my own. Im upset because i know ive damaged trust with my coworkers and i just flat out hate this feeling.
Im still here for another 5 days with no access to alcohol. I think that if i was home i would probably want to pick up AND the voice in my head currently is saying to just hold on for a few more days and get drunk to forget about it.
Im just trying to tell myself that mistakes happen and thats how we learn. That drinking will make it worse. I know all these things are true, but the pit in my stomach is winning right now and im having a hard time believing the positive things im trying to tell myself.
I am familiar with that feeling. It will fade though. As much as it does suck that is the best teacher is to make a mistake. You won’t do it again, you’ll be more focused from now on. You know you’ll just get more emotional and think about it even more if you want and then drink over it. Then you’ll have the feelings that go with a relapse and a hangover on top of it.
We gotta learn to deal with life on it’s terms right. We need to do that without alcohol and drugs…
Keep telling yourself everything you already are. A simple apology is great but don’t overdo it or else you’ll come off as not confident. But yes, mistakes happen and we all learn and grow from them. Basically how you are feeling right now is exactly why it will never happen again. You will remember this the next time a similar situation arises.
I’ve made plenty of horrifyingly embarrassing mistakes at work but I never forget them and therefore never repeat them.
Yes it sucks big time to fuck up. It’s part of life though. The voice in your head is addictions voice. Drinking won’t make you forget. Getting through this sober will make you grow instead. Grow and learn from the experience. No growth without fuckups. It’s good you got 5 days. Use the time to reflect. Use the time well by being here and read and learn. You got this if you make it happen.
We all make mistakes, some big, some small. Owning up to them and moving forward with honesty is all we can do and that is enough. Try not to get down on yourself, you are human, trying your best.
Thank you each and every one of your posts helped.
Im 15 days in. I think loosing that will make everything worse. Im just glad i have these 5 days to cool off.
Losing sobriety is definitely not the way to go. I can tell you you would feel horrible and it wouldn’t solve a thing. Keep moving forward in sobriety. It gets better.
We are all human. Just keep looking forward and don’t let past mistakes get to you. Ignore them and move on and time will fill in the gap with the stuff you get right.
Everyone makes mistakes big and small, it’s no need to beat yourself up over it. You’ll only feel more guilty if you pick the bottle up and drink at the end of the week. The alcoholic in your head wants you to drink and needs it in your body, but you don’t need it at all. Let the sober head prevail and learn from your mistakes. No need to fret! Pick yourself up and keep carrying on through.
We are all humans and we all make mistakes. Just keep talkimg if u need to, we are all here to support each other. Please dont drink cuz u will feel even worse about it. As long as we are healthy and trying to live as clean as possible in all ways this is all what matters. So dont worry. Sending u hug.
If everyone was perfect at their jobs right out of the gate…well thinking about what it would be like is a fruitless exercise. Mastery takes time. It takes learning, and learning involves mistakes.
No one was hurt, and the boat is still on the right side of the water. Bet you won’t make this mistake again. No. You’ll be the best stern-line tie’r off’r in the whole crew.
I’ve made lots of mistakes at work. Once forgot to include a file and half of our customers didn’t get mailed an offer, which is our bread and butter. The following month I accidentally gave away over $20,000 to our customers in a 12 hour period. That was a huge ooopsie!
I made many, many more mistakes. It’s hard to own up to it, makes you feel 6 inches tall, but it feels good when you do. The most important thing is to not be hard on yourself, but to learn from it and not make the same mistake twice. To do that, make a plan and stick to it. For me, it was to have someone else double check my work.
In my book, a sober mistake beats a drunk mistake hands down.
Thanks every single one of these responses helped. A nap helped too.
You can turn this into a triumph if you can look back and say I was really tempted to drink but didn’t!!