Take it one step at a time. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. One day at a time!
Don’t be afraid of your true self. It’s your best friend 
Great that you have some experience with therapy! I am sure you shared what was doable. Let the past go, and focus on just today.
Maybe you want to try a group like AA/SA or Smart Recovery. Both are available online if you don’t find a group where you live.
You can find a lot of resources also here: Resources for our recovery - #64 by NealRecoveryCA
And here: