I’m over 2 months sober now and I’m really struggling to control my emotions. Im constantly on tipping point. I just burst out crying I get aggressive or excessively shout and swear over nothing. It gets so intense and I get sucked into sucha hole I’m harming. I actually feel angry all the time and I feel angry I have people who rely on me cause I can’t end it all. An outburst can last for an hour or two to half a day of pure hell. I’m irratic and Im just not coping.
Iv been going to counselling but it dosent seem to be helping. I open up with what’s happened in the past but I can’t seem to find a way forward without feeling so angry and hating myself and just people and life. Iam so so bitter. I haven’t drank but I realise I was drinking to escape this feeling. And I don’t want to drink but I don’t know how to cope with these emotions anymore. I don’t really know how I’m supposed to deal past events when while I acknowledge it happened and it wasn’t right I feel like iv been robbed of all of me. Iv rebuilt a life but I just never feel happy or whole. Any help suggestions would really help. I want to heal and alcohol is preventing me.
Maybe try a different counselor or psychiatrist.
First things first, deep breaths…i know it’s hard, and sometimes that’s apart of being human.
How’s your support system ? Do you spend a lot of time alone ?
Have you worked on things like meditation, or working out?
What kinda music do you listen to as well ? Have you tried more calming genres ?
When I used to get crazy mood swings growing up, it was some of my worst triggers for drinking and smoking , but over time I’ve learned to not get mood swings.
I still get them from time to time, but not as bad as I used to. I’ve done therapy before, and found underlying problems and daily habits that had a huge reason behind my feelings. Your diet, routine, and what you choose to think of daily can greatly affect your mood swings.
Also , have you tried challenge your anger before , as in disciplining yourself ? Attempting to not get angry over small things ? Where even if youre about to have an outburst maybe walk to another room and just go take some deep breaths?
I know it can be hard to start, but it’s like going sober, take your time working into it, and challenge yourself.
If you can acknowledge the problem, and youre aware of it, it means you’re willing to make a change.
I think you’re still in the beginning of your journey, it’s taken me many attempts to hit good stages of sobriety, and it also took me many years to get better at controlling my anger, emotions, and breakdowns.
I’ve actually been to an anger management course before and then I realized in that course my anger wasn’t even as bad as the examples they gave me , and it actually helped me to develop better social skills and coping mechanisms . Sometimes you need to remember by getting upset over small things or things you can’t control is just you beating yourself up at the ebd if the day. (But who am I to judge , I’m hoping I can help you from my past experiences) .
Good luck on finding your way out of these controlling emotions. Just remember if you think its that serious , nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
Okay, first of all, good on ya for sticking to it and not drinking in spite of everything. I don’t know what your trauma story is, but I can certainly relate with drinking to escape past trauma. Look into EMDR, I have been using it extensively over the past few months since an extremely traumatic event occurred, and I can tell you with confidence it has helped give me back some quality of life. If you are seeing a psychiatrist, stop and find a good psychologist or therapist, someone who can actually spend some time helping you heal, not just someone trying to throw pills at your symptoms. I hope you are able to find help soon.
Well, you have a lot of emotions and anger built up over your years of using…now as you heal and don’t use your old coping mechanism (of using), all those emotions are wanting to come out. Plus, your body is still healing at 2 months. Trauma is deep stuff and it takes time to heal. I am glad you are seeing someone. It sounds like maybe you get flooded with your emotions? Some ways to get them out more constructively and that feel better for you might be…yelling into a pillow…crying…writing in a journal…some type of physical activity…walking in nature…a calming warm bath…listening to calming music…dancing to loud music. Finding outlets for our energy is important. Especially trauma energy…that is deep stuff. I know for myself, sometimes the talking about it makes me more anxious at first and then after that passes, I have some relief.
Also, if your counselor is having you dig too deep too fast that can bring up the emotions and flood us as well. I know that overwhelm feeling is a lot to bear and I am sorry you are feeling it. And also sometimes under our anger is deep pain and sadness.
The past is hard. But you are worthy of healing and self love. I think for so many of us, we feel so much anger shame guilt from our past, it is a lot. And also that well of sadness that needs releasing.
You are working to heal and it takes a toll. If it isn’t clicking with your therapist, maybe a different one may feel safer for you? Idk I am glad you reached out tho. I think all of this is normal…painful yes and still normal. Keep venting here as well. It can help.
No matter what, you are deserving and worthy of love.
There’s a lot of good advice already posted. I feel with you, I myself have emotional outbursts and anger issues. Mine became better when I went on the antidepressants I’m still on. Your psychiatric should have a very close look if there is hidden depression behind the emotional wall of outbursts. creating drama can be an expression of deviating hurt and grief too painful to deal with.
you are not alone. I remember people talking about similar issues and their experience resp. what helped them to cope. I’m sorry I don’t have bookmarked these topics otherwise I would link them.
Sending you strength and calm 
I like what everyone else has said and I’d also like to suggest that some sort of trauma informed/recovery yoga could be useful. I go to a specific yoga group where the teacher knows of my addiction and trauma and the class is very geared towards gently releasing trauma that is held in the body and accessing the parasympathetic nervous system through breathing exercises. I had got to a point where I felt like I was in a low level panic attack 24/7 and it’s just not possible to live like that for ever.
Well done for staying sober through this.
Goodness, this sounds like me!! I have been in ans out of that 24/7 low level panic for awhile. I have also found great relief from yin/restorative yoga…it helps release not just muscles, but emotions as well. Good suggestion.
DiMethylGlycine (DMG) behaviour balance, natural, worked for me on anger and mood swings. (DaVinci laboratories do the best)
CBD
Ashwaganda
Lions mane (mushroom)
Be gentle with yourself
Insight Timer (meditation app)
Recovery Dharma (group meditation meetings for addictions)
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My gosh, this community always delivers! So much good in all of the replies. If you haven’t yet, I would go get a wellness check with a blood panel to rule out anything going on there. Drinking for years took a toll on my body.
Also, I didn’t have trauma, but I certainly had anger, resentment, anxiety, shame, self-loathing, etc. a program of recovery like AA or Recovery Dharma helps me live life on life’s terms and deal with these emotions in a healthy way. EMDR is so helpful for many with trauma. It’s ODAAT. Hang in there.