I WAS invincible. Or so I thought… I’ve had my driver’s license since I was 16. Drank and got behind the wheel a few times I’m 28 now. Had three accidents because of alcohol but was never caught. Drinking was what we did on weekends with friends and right from highschool I worked at a winery and managed it for 6 years.
My drinking started off fun with friends,then drinking at work because it was acceptable. Then drinking alone in private, then turned into drinking at my new job where it is NOT acceptable, then a need/habit of wanting it every day to get through mentally. I would stop drinking for a while then pick it up hardcore again. It was always vodka. Usually 1.5 pint a day. I never got headaches or shakes or anything from trying to quit. Or after a night of drinking I may feel a bit of a stomach ache but that was the worst of it and it was gone in an hour or so. So it made it that much harder to stop. Not having any negative physical side effects. This was a habit I never thought I could have because of seeing my dad and the warning signs of an alcoholic and how he struggles every day. I see the shakes I see the sweating and anger when he tries to stop. I never wanted to be a drinker like him. I could control it. But here I am not controlling it. I had to drink to enjoy anything. I’ve admitted to myself I am an alcoholic I go to meetings. I have a sponsor. I’ve seen therapists. I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for 6 years he’s very good sober support because he doesn’t drink. (Because of me). I’ve went 98 says sober I know I can do this. But it was that want that never stayed with me. I’m a Jekyll and Hyde drinker. You never know what you’ll get. Usually an asshole.
I was driving on Friday night got a beer during work and bottle after work I was feeling pretty stressed. I would normally open this bottle of vodka and take a drink before I got home but for some reason the metal seal was actually damaged and there was no slit to crack the ring. (My first sign I shouldn’t drink this). My life is very interesting. That’s another post. I was driving home and looked down and back up again when I fender bendered the car in front of me. I was screwed. My first accident and I knew I had alcohol in me. No one was harmed 
I was going about 10 mph. We pulled to the side of the road and the cop suspected me of alcohol and asked for a field sobriety test and I complied and blew 1.00. he found marijuana as well and that unopened bottle THANK GOD. I got arrested and went to the highway State patrol where I was served with OVI.
I have court in the morning and have no clue what to expect any input or knowledge is awesome.
I’ve been sober for 3 days. I took my last drink of alcohol. I think this had to happen to me to ground me. I’m not invisible. I’m done being this selfish person and someone in not. I’m done hiding from whatever it is making me crave picking up that drink.
I thank God🙏 for another day to make my life right again.
