Hi everyone, I’m ashamed to say I’ve fallen off the wagon several times since I last posted. I’ve been moderating (ha ha) but it’s all gone to shit again. I’ve spent the last 2 days drinking anything I could get my hands on. I was supposed to go back to work today after the Christmas break but I didn’t make it in. I’ve done nothing to help myself stay sober but I finally realise I’m an alcoholic and I need help. I don’t want another year of this.
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Hello Sarah, welcome back.
You know the blueprint. Let’s go. You got this. Read, share and listen. Every day.
Sounds like you are ready to go again.
Stick around, make your plan, don’t leave any gaps for the demon drink to squeeze in again. We know nothing changes if nothing changes, right?
Good luck. Stick around.
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What have you learned from your experience over the last few months?
Write a list down
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Alcoholics cannot moderate their alcohol intake. Thinking you can control your drinking is a big mistake. You need to fight the first drink, do not have that first one.
What are you planning to do this time to stay sober?
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I’m going to do online AA meetings and listen to podcasts and read
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Sorry, I’m still feeling really ill from the binge so I can’t type much
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@Blondie75 it is a hard Demon to kick. But you can do it. Just worry about today, and get to bed sober tonight. Stay strong today.
You can do one day, right?
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Hey Sarah, such is the story told 1000 times eh? I guess the deal is if alcoholics didn’t fail on our sobriety attempts would we even be alcoholics? It’s a merry go round for sure and the same thing happens, folks that are alcoholics believe they have this new found strength that they never had before to control it… lol. I think we all know we don’t.
But you know all this, so all you can do is learn, and get on with doing the work. You know you can, you just have to never listen to that lying little voice in your head that tells you different stories about who you are…
I’m wishing you the best of luck in your next go at this cause the next time we may not be so lucky to have the chance.
Best wishes and stay around 
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There’s a connection there Sarah. We all need help. The opposite of addiction is connection. I’m glad you’re here. We’re in this together. Hugs.
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Hey girl, sorry to hear about your struggle and understand it for sure. I am glad you are back and working toward a healthier you. Today is the day to focus on, not drinking today. Resting, hydrating with water or electrolytes, being gentle on your hard hit self and soul. Take it a day at a time, a minute if you need to. We are always here. Please keep coming on here, it can help. 
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Welcome home 
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Glad you are here, hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. Maybe then you can take your time to sit down and make a plan how to do this.
This thread can help with that:
What's YOUR plan? But maybe you have already seen it
Stick around Sarah, be here every day if you can. It really helps, I assure you!
Do you still have a sponsor?
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Have you considered therapy? I found a therapist with 15 years sober that is really helping keep me accountable. The books and online stuff help but I’ve had to take a bigger picture look at my life.
“Not drinking” is great and all but to kick an addictive drug there has to be clear support and a vision for what you want to accomplish sober. I’ve found negative things like “I don’t want to get arrested” work but “I want to be a better friend to myself” or is more powerful.
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I am actually considering therapy. I used to see someone who helped me with past trauma and I’m thinking of going back to her
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Cannot affirm this strongly enough. Alcoholism and addictions are symptoms or emotional conflicts. Unearth them in therapy if you can, face your shit and you’ll get a long way towards being free of your addictions. Good luck.
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Hello Sarah. It’s part of the recovery I think…It was for me…I believed I could do this then I relapsed because of my emotions but I kept on trying. I understand I couldn’t moderate but what helped me with time was to listen life stories of other…but I was angry with people who came with advices ( there were great advices tho)
Now I Can Say that life has been better without alcohol. I’m not ashamed anymore and everyday is a New day full or promises.
Sending love 
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Dear Sarah, Im quite new here so not an expert but… I use to find it scary to imagine that one day I might relapse… I hope I won’t but i also know that I can’t rule it out completely… I used to think that it would be so bad again that I would never forgive myself… I don’t think like that anymore… Im sober 44 days today and I know what I will do in case I relapse… I will pick myself up asap and do it again, I will start again… and I will keep starting again and again for as long as I will have to… knowing that really helped me. TRY AGAIN SARAH
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I got relief and release in early days from taking Disulfiram (Antabuse). Have you considered that route?
How would I get that?