My first day after a relapse. I’m so sad. I’m so tired too. I had 6 years of sobriety and threw it all away. I thought I could manage again. I can’t. One is too many and a thousand is not enough. I don’t know why I do what I do. My adult children have been so proud of me and my life since my sobriety. I have a special needs son that lives with me and it’s a lot. But he’s not the issue. I’m an addict. I am on day one and I’m praying I hear words here and get to my meetings again so I can maintain sobriety forever.
Welcome back Melanie. I’m sorry to hear about your relapse but good to see you checking in here for support.
And hey 6 years , that’s massive. Nobody can take that away from you. You must have done something right there. So please don’t beat up yourself too hard. Get back on the horse and keep on fighting the good fight.
We’re all here for you.
Thank you. It seems harder this time. Maybe circumstances … I’ve been through a lot and I’m alone so it’s difficult. But God will lead me… I’m grateful to have support here.
@Melanie_McCollum_Chr
It happens. Don’t beat yourself up for it.
I had been sober for a long time. I tried to drink like a gentleman and I failed. My head told me I failed at recovery and failing at drinking wasn’t an option, so I kept trying to drink “successfully”. The next thing you know, I was drunk as long as I stayed sober.
Don’t let this happen to you.
I couldn’t appreciate short term milestones because I had been sober for a long time.
Once again, I was my biggest obstacle towards recovery.
I have been able to quit and I have a good amount of days in row without a drink, that I’m grateful for and I’m proud of. I’m still just a drink away from being a drunk again. My life is good, and most of the time, not drinking is easy. My brain can easily paint an scenario where alcohol looks like a good idea.
This place is here 24/7. It helps me see the reality of alcohol.
The beginning of this chapter is a good reminder too. I’m glad your here!
I’m so glad you made it back.
I too had six years of sobriety, and it took me another 8 to make it back. Now I’m on Day 72. I went back and forth, putting weeks or even a few months together, but I couldn’t make it stick. I was embarrassed after losing the 6 years, so I tried to do it on my own. But I only heal with community, not alone.
We’re both here again, and I’m so happy. Like others have said, no we don’t lose those six years. I use them as a reference when I feel uncomfortable about getting through a certain thing sober, or when I wonder if I can achieve long-term sobriety or not. I already have! Of course I can. It’s helpful. I remember the tips and tricks. Lost my confidence but I didn’t lose the experience.
Thanks for those words. Yes I keep thinking I can manage it but it never ends well. I can go a month or more as well but once I take that drink it’s done… I am so so sick now too. It’s really bad. I just need to get back to meetings and stick with this group. I can’t do it alone.
Yes, absolutely you made a good decision! Talking Sober was a perfect fit for me, and I hope it will be for you as well. Everyone is so kind and welcoming. I felt no more shame once I asked for help. You’ll get to 72 and way beyond, don’t worry!
I just want to be normal but we never will be. My older kids blame my special needs son cuz they think it’s too much for me but he’s not hard. I mean he’s the most loving unconditional human I know… I tell them I’m an addict. Would not matter who lives with me. I’m just looking forward to making this journey last. So nice to meet all of you
Im with you on this. I also have a day one today and i feel so down and hopeless… But we can manage it! We did it ones, and we will do it again! I am sending you a virtual hug and cheer! We need to stop blaming ourselves for the relaps and move on on a sober path! ))) xoxo
Nice!
I’m 71 away … I believe I made a great decision joining this… so grateful for the words of encouragement.