Just doing a check in with you guys. I’m starting to feel the beginnings of another wave of depression starting again. What I’ve learned is that it definitely does come in waves and that they will subside in time. I’m just scared to go through another one because I hate the depths that I’ve gone through in the past. Maybe this wave won’t be as bad as some of the last ones at least I’m hoping it’s not. Another thing that I’ve realized is that my depression won’t just go away some day it’s something I’ll probably have to go through for the rest of my life just like addiction will be with me as well. It sucks but it’s just part of what I have to face and walk through knowing I’ll get to the other side. I know a lot of us go through this and I wanted to share that you’re not alone. I love you guys dearly, sweet dreams 
It will subside, you have got through it before and look at how far you have come through it all!
I think the fact that you can see it coming but also that you accept it might not be so bad this time is really important. I hope it turns out to just be a bad day or couple of days. Sometimes I think when we expect it to be awful then it almost makes it so. I don’t know I really don’t understand how it all works.
Be kind to yourself friend and know that there will always be people here holding love and compassion for you when you can’t find any for yourself 
Rob I second everything Sian said.
I know that feeling you are having though, my only saving grace when I feel a depressive episode coming on is that I know it won’t last forever. My illness may never go away, but I do get some amazing days. I am so grateful that not all my days are bad and on those bad ones I dig deep to find some gratitude.
Sending lots of love and hugs to you.
@Rockstar24777 ….I think you are doing so well with what you are and have had to deal with… I couldn’t of put it better than this…
The fact that you can see it coming and the fact that you know it will pass is amazing growth within itself. We are here, take care of you my friend. By sharing your journey with us you are helping more people than you know with theirs. God bless you. 
Thank you @siand, @Its_me_Stella and @Blondie1x. I love that I can always reach out and get support from you all. It didn’t even occur to me that it could just be a bad day lol. That goes to show that my black and white thinking is still alive and well. Cognitive distortions are awesome lol. Thank you all again, today’s a new day. I hope you all have a wonderful day today, love you guys
Wow!!! That is f**king deep…
