When I had my mental health assessment the psychologist referred to CBT saying something like - it sounds like you need a bit of help building your resilience back up. It was ages ago and I am sure I wasn’t using the right language to describe what was going on with me but it really fucking stung. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, but this is it!
I love this Siand.
I hear ya.
Good for you Sarah.
" Fucker" is my go to name for people, has been for years. 
Found this the other day and forgot to post it. You reminded me.
Stay strong and don’t forget to breathe.
I.
Am.
Stealing.
This.
You will see it again soon.
This is great, thank you Stella 
BOOM 
Nailed it…I heard it just the other day and it was a chilling reminder of my childhood. “You always were a great actress, such a drama queen.”
I say it all the time, that my childhood was amazing and there was nothing that happened to me. It’s bullshit… I have had a ton of things happen to me that would have made me want to escape my existence. Being a sensitive person who was never heard was one of them. Slowly I am starting to remember my real childhood, not the one I made up in my head. You know, I barely remember anything at all but bits and pieces are surfacing now. Sometimes I wonder if they are real things or if I am just making them up now, but the details will get more graphic or I will start to have a body response to the memory. I know I am not making this stuff up. I guess that is how it happens, the truth will always come out.
This I also can relate to a lot. I find with each day that passes sober, so much of my childhood and early teenage memories are bubbling up from the depths that they were pushed to. I totally 100% get this!!. It’s painful to relive these memories and hard to let them see the light but I’m learning that when we do we are becoming more at peace with it/them. I’m finding that although this part of the journey is hard and hurts it’s completely necessary in order to move on. We were not drama queens we have a total right to react to the things that traumatised us! I appreciate you and your presence here Stella very much. I can relate to a lot of your posts here and I thank you for being here with us. I’m learning from you and knowing I’m not alone and that others feel the same is priceless. It’s mad here at my house at the moment (with the family visiting) my niece polished off two bottles of wine yesterday afternoon/ evening so things were quite hard going last night. I never even once considered a drink, in fact the thought of losing this new found clarity to alcohol is not appealing at all. I wish she would see the hole she is placing herself in 
. I have taken the advice that was given here and told her my story, in the hope that she takes it away knowing that you can survive and thrive if you become sober. That is all I can do . God bless you!
