Beautiful Thought!!!
Hey Andre how you feeling today?
Who did you speak to your childhood trauma about? Either way thatâs good that you got through that with some peace and acceptance! Sounds like solid growth 
I donât know about the mania - is there anything you can do to help calm things down a bit? I know this isnât your first rodeo though, hope you have the tools and support needed to ride it out as smoothly as possible.
As long as youâre safe Andre thatâs the main thing! 
Hope some sleep comes soon though, all the wildness and chaos sounds exhausting.
That sounds pretty huge to me! Knowing that this will pass, that you will come out the other side sober and stronger.
Keep checking in and do reach out, here or in IRL, whenever.
I understand all too well.
I remember the summer I was in Paris with my daughter, she was 10. They had just started me on new meds, my drs had been trying to stabilize my mood for 7 years unsuccessfully. I ended up having a full blown manic episode while I was in Europe for 3 weeks and lasted until 2 months after I got home. I was lucky to survive it. While we were on the train from France to Switzerland I believed that I was communicating with my daughter telepathically. The psychosis I was experiencing during that episode was so extreme I gave myself â2 more daysâ then I was going to check myself in. I ended up at urgent care before the two days came.
I believe you because I have experienced it, I know first hand how hard it is. For me⊠the thing that has always gotten me through is I just focus on the fact it wonât last forever. I know that a depressive state is around the corner or vice versa⊠its those mixed episodes that really fuck with my head.
Thinking of you, hope your mood stabilizes soon.
This is a very good tool to ground yourself.
Iâve used it to center myself.
It is amazing how useful it can be to get a break from some pretty dark places.
Whatever is happening now isnât permanent. So all that garbage stuff⊠Can change. Will change!
That said, you are not garbage, none of us are. You are already your higher self, no need to search. Let it be there.
If life is a game we are all just playing friend. No winning or losing. The never ending story 
For now sit back and observe AndrĂ©. No action on your part needed at this moment. Just you working on chilling out. use your tools. Meditating, mindfullness,. breathing, grounding? Not sure whatâs in your arsenal. Glad youâre sober. Hang in there. Things will improve. One day, one breath at a time.