When I was feeling really low, the ideas of uncertainty and impermanence, that things might just work out on a way that isn’t entirely terrible… That gave me a reason to hope that there might be a way out of the sadness if I could just hang on a bit longer.
It is weird though cos when it did start to lift a bit it was hard in its own way. Definitely comfort in wallowing the depths, you know where you are with it even if it’s terrible.
Anyway that’s just me saying the thing you posted in a different way. I relate to it I guess!
I really love this. There are so many emotions to feel and they are all valid. Getting stuck in them can be a challenge at times…learning to flow in general seems a work in progress. Our incessant need to have black or white, good or evil…we lose track of the spectrum of it all…and that emotions just are. Especially if we are in a depressive state. We can know something psychologically, yet feel something different emotionally.
Oh, same here, most definitely. This is why the quote resonated with me also. When things start feeling better, when the clouds start to part and the rays of sunshine start to become apparent, that is when I have retreated like a vampire back to the perceived safety of the darkness. It takes work to keep the hopeful perspective going at times, but I think even that upward direction can be progressive, just like the pits of alcohol use and depression can be progressive over time in a downward direction. The more progress I make, the stronger that hope for a better situation overall gets.
This is so true. Depression for me tends to dull emotional states or make me not trust the emotions that I feel.
I think overall it is really healthy to practice recognizing/identifying the emotions I’m feeling and just being with them. This in contrast to feeling shameful or disappointed in myself for feeling what I’m feeling with the constant pressure in our society to be okay, happy even, all the time.
“I am redefining what it means to be productive” - this is something that I am really thinking about at the moment. As I am slowly getting some energy, it is so easy to fall back into old habits. When you have your boundaries limited and enforced by whatever condition, it sucks but you only have the choice to accept it or be sad about it (or both, ha). Making the choice to redefine your idea of productivity to ‘less’ than you are technically capable of is proving to be a whole new challenge that I had not anticipated!
I could use to have this tattooed on myself in a very visible place as a daily reminder. I can get so sucked in overthinking and trying to control my emotions.
This! I’m learning to do this and it’s a huge challenge! The over achiever perfectionist in me is constantly niggling at the back of my brain to do more, be better.
I have listened to some meditations around perfectionism and had many Aha moments of … how did I not see this as a coping mechanism. I did to some extent aka controlling my inner chaos with outer control…but the deeper stuff had alluded me. Made sense once I heard it.
I am so appreciative of sobriety and recovery making it possible to really hear all these pearls now and having the ability to incorporate them into my being.
It is definitely a coping mechanism for me, has been in my past. Procrastination has been, as well. I’ve seen meditations on topics like that but have never tried them. I’ll have to check some out, thanks for the reminder!
I’m not sure if this really fits here…but if more people listened to this and took it to heart it could save people a lot of hurt. There are some folks I’ve come across that I’d love to have sent this to in a PM And I know I certainly can learn from this message.
I was having a really rough time this morning and a friend sent this to me. It has touched me on a deep, deep level. I can’t help but get emotional listening to it. Incredibly moving. A poem about anxiety.
Thanks for sharing friend. Awesome. I don’t know how it happened but 3+ years of sobriety and 18 months of group schema therapy has not defeated anxiety but it has greatly diminished it
And I know I certainly can learn from this message.
