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Working on this today.
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This is 
.
I am sitting here bawling like a baby.
Living honest is lonely right now. Im saddened by the fact that I’m lonely without the dirt I was doing and the drugs and drinking and all the B’s that came along with it.
I’m sad because I must leave all that and all the behind.
And here I sit. In it and through it. No running. No co-dedependancy with another man, no bottle in my hand, no dope sack in my pocket… No stolen goods to pilfer or dirt to plot. Not even a sober , like minded friend to chat with.
Just me, my sadness, loneliness and hope for a better me and a new tomorrow.
I suppose my Legacy MUST change and in order for me to get what I want , I’ve got to be willing to do what it takes and get through some shit … Sober, honest , with integrity and not having to look over my shoulder. Maybe lonely but at least I’m safe. And honest now.
Shit! I hope this feeling of inadequacy goes away. I hope this desire to have friends, even if they are the bad kind - go away.
Ugh…
I’ll take another 24 though.
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