11 months and I’m miserable think of death or using most of the day. How are you holding up?
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Are you saying you have 11 months clean? You still want to use? Are you working any kind of recovery program? Have you changed your life? Do you still hang out with using friends?
I ask all this because I was a meth head for 20 years and today I have 27 years clean. I know your struggle down to my bones. I couldn’t get clean on my own. It took a lot of help from a lot of other recovering addicts and listening to them. It took me leaving behind beloved friends and family because I came to know my recovery was more important than any relationship in my life. That included my husband who is now my ex and still using. It took a lot of hope, a lot of determination and a lot of strength. Don’t think about staying clean forever. Just think about staying clean today. One day at a time.
I’m here for you. Leaving you with this meme. I don’t like the word advice in it. I prefer suggestions. However the message is the same. Meth is a poison. It just hides the fact it is slowly killing your body, spirit and mind. Keep coming here and read posts. It helps.
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Hey Joel, I’m glad u checked in. I absolutly agree with @SassyBoomer. I used meth for 3 years continuously and trying to get off of it was BRUTAL. For myself I absolutely needed a support group. There is no way I could do this alone. I also needed medication. Meth caused me to dissociate often (or that was trauma idk) I would hear things and occasionally see and feel things. I wasn’t well at all. I felt like I was on autopilot. It took about 8 or 9 months of continuous sobriety from all substances to start feeling normal. But if it wasn’t for medication or a support group and rehab Idk if I could’ve gotten off of it.
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I go to CMA every week, I’m in treatment, I take meds from a doctor, I do therapy. At first I was fine then the pink cloud crashed and I lost all hope. Only reason I haven’t relapsed is I can’t get any. Originally playing the tape forward worked but I’ve become numb to it now.
When the pink cloud crashed did you try replacing it with anything like new friends, affirmations or step work? Have you discussed with your doctor that perhaps your meds need adjusting? What is keeping you from having hope? You say you are in treatment. Are you fully engaged and involved in it or are you just going with the flow waiting for the miracle to happen? It takes a lot of inner work to figure yourself out and to find a life worth living. I wish you well.
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Good point. I have been going thru the motions with treatment lately and have been lacking on step work
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Im lisa, 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒. 𝖧𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗈 𝖾𝗏𝗐𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾🙂
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You’re not alone, glad you joined man. My DOC is also meth, keep your head up i believe in you! Hit me up, if u need to talk(: @Dukeofsoberity
Hi duke im lisa. How have you been?
Hi, there. Sounds like you are in need of a real life recovery program. Are you attending 12 Step meetings? If not, get to them. Even if you don’t want to go. Because everyone “doesn’t like” meetings when they are still sick and lost. There is a solution. You do not have to feel miserable. If your car was not running well, you would not hesitate to have a professional expert look at it. Aren’t you more important than your car?
Have you had a professional substance use disorder assessment? Get one now. If you are willing to do whatever it takes to get well, this is your first step along with attending 12 Step meetings. Things will get better but you are responsible for reaching out for the right help and for actually doing what you are told to do by those who have been where you are right now. Good luck. - Mike
Well then, during this single outreach, how are you m33z?
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I’m doing alright i had an aftercare class i went to yesterday night n i loved it. How are you @Smokescreen
Sorry for late reply… Im doing alright i guess. My dad is real sick right nkw in hospital. Its really stressful and i think he might be vliser to death. Im still using, but i work recovery habits and material everyday. I do zoom meetings and i decided i dont nerd a sponsor. In my first recivery i earned 18months w a spinsor and physically worked the steps. Tht was from crack and i thought i could never stop that. Now its meth but i knkw what i need to do. I havent guven up my sekf will to gid yet. Or ill get in a few days clean and a resentment will kick in.
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Sorry about your dad @Smokescreen i can’t imagine what you’re going through💛 thanks 4 your honesty bout still using that’s always the 1st step! I’ve had my fair share with meth so i understand that part of what you’re going through, its a demon & was hard 4 me to kick… BUT I believe in you, & never give up on yourself alright? Hang in there! Great job on getting those 18 months, no one can take that away from you, I know you can do it again! Keep on keeping on, especially when the bad times hit okay? Take care
тнanĸ yoυ ѕo мυcн. ιт’ѕ nιce тo нear ѕυpporт ғroм oтнerѕ . нow dιd yoυ dιѕcover тнιѕ app ? wнaт ιѕ yoυr recovery вeнavιor? нow do yoυ ѕтay ѕoвer eacн day?