Sometimes I forget how much I miss Mom. I’m beginning to finally grow into the man she probably envisioned I would become. From the little things like the way I dress or have my hair cut, to the more meaningful such as my pleasant disposition and ever increasing drive to better myself and make a positive impact on the world. I can almost see the way she would look at me and feel how proud of me she would be. I wish I could tell her how I am thinking about going back to school and what I want to get a degree in. She was an elementary school teacher and loved education. The fact that I didn’t gravitate towards schooling the way my brother did surely upset her. It hurts so badly to think of the way I behaved while she was still alive. I took her for granted and used her love to enable my drug use. I never told her how much I really loved her. These feelings hit me me around 7 pm and I felt as if I had to get them off my chest.
Venting helps me when I do.
I hope it helped you too to get the edge off. My mom died almost 20 years ago. Still miss her. It helps a bit to light a candle for her ore talk about her with my brother.
I can’t remember her voice anymore and I feel sad about that. I hope see still can see me and if she does she would be proud of me.
Your mom would be very proud of you too! 
Keep doing what you are doing: rebuilding your life. That all a mom wants: a happy healthy child.
I understand your pain 
I miss my dad like that he died in 2008 id give anything to have time with him again to smell him and hold his hand . I also feel very guilty at times for not seeing him on weekends because I was growing up and using. I think he knew but never said he was the nicest kindest most humble man I’ve ever met and completely irreplaceable he died 15 years sober after fighting his demons and I’m very glad I had him for as long as I did . I’m sure their watching over us and are very proud 
I miss my mom.
I’m very sorry for your loss. 
Perhaps to honor Mom, try to keep doing honorable things. When in doubt, maybe ask would this please her? Would she want me to do the right thing?
If kept in a positive vein, Mom’s memory may help us avoid shameful acts.
I’m so sorry to hear about that. It is heartbreaking to have these thoughts and to want to share them, but not be able to (at least, not with her). It takes courage to share here. It’s an honour to her memory 