Found myself frustrated, missing the wine and feeling of intoxication. Then mad at myself for actually missing something that I KNOW is so harmful and dangerous (when I’m at it, anyway). How do you cope with your “lizard brain” (apologies to the lizards 
)?
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I miss it sometimes. Like last night I watched Superbad and got really triggered. It was mostly about kids trying to score alcohol and showed a lot of drinking/drugs.
Never saw the movie before and didn’t expect something like that to create cravings and anxiety. Just keep reminding yourself that the aftermath isn’t worth it. The physical, mental, and overall life destruction is far worse than not taking a drink.
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The destruction, ruination of relationships, health, self-esteem… the list goes on right? Yet the thought of, “oh it’s too bad I can’t drink a bottle of wine…(or whatever)” still has room to creep in and mess with us.
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First off, congrats on deciding to quit, that is one of the hardest, scarriest decisions to make, despite the blatantly obvious signs that its the right choice.
Second, its ok to miss it. Missing it doesn’t mean you’re doing sobriety wrong or that your not ready to quit. A lot of us missed it at first, including myself.
What I did, and what I’d recommend is change your perspective of alcohol by changing your relationship with it.
Here’s how I did it: Change your Relationship with Alcohol
I’ll tell you, the more your perspective changes, the less you miss it, at least, that was my experience.
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I get that “gremlin voice” often. Im getting it less nowadays but it still comes in waves sometimes.
I don’t worry too much about why it happens - it’s just, I spent 25 years in my addiction, I can’t just pretend that voice never existed (it’s part of my past and it speaks up sometimes) - but I focus on letting it pass, kind of like you pass people walking on the street. You might hear their voices but that doesn’t mean you stop and talk to them.
At times when I hear that voice I call my sobriety contacts from my recovery group. I find talking to another human in recovery helps me “defuse” the voice and get my feet back on the ground.
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I think you’re onto something here. We can notice that gremlin and accept it’s there, but it’s not the boss; we are.
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Try to think past the intoxication. You are missing the release of intoxication but forgetting all the ick that comes with that. Think of the embarrassing slurring, think of falling down, think of vomit, think of drunkenly fighting with a loved one, think of crashing your car. Think past the glamorization into what alcohol had meant for you in actuality.
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