Well I messed up, smoked pot again. Only after 3 days I relapsed. My mom smelled it soon after I smoked. The pain that I caused my family from smoking and seeing my mother and father that disappointed in me was enough for me to break down to tears. All this sorrow is all caused by me and me alone. I just keep thinking to myself this is the last time. No more after this, but I can’t get it through my head that those words are those of an addict. I’m struggling to find true happiness so I resort to drugs, which only lead to greater sadness. From this day forward I vow to stop smoking. And in turn I hope to find happiness in my surroundings and family. And hope to end this pain I have caused my family.
Hope you’re ok. Is there a posibility you could apply for a rehab fercility or have extra support for yourself and your family? It sounds like you all need a little extra help.
Please stay on here and get the support from us all, we’ll do our best to help.
From this day forward I vow to stop smoking.
I admire your tenacity, and willingness to stop.
I made countless vows to quit my addiction ‘for good’ only to find myself back to it when the tough times came around. I’ve found its easier to take these things ‘One day at a time’, or even one minute at a time when it’s really rough. Trying to quit something forever is a really big task! Break it up into manageable pieces. That’s also one way to help combat the addiction voice you mentioned.
In recovery programs they talk about hitting your “bottom”, and using that as an anchor point to drive recovery efforts forward. Is this your bottom? How does it feel? If you work to remember this feeling and keep it with you, it can help remind you of the pain that using again may cause.
Hope you find peace.