Moderating drinking ... thoughts please

Your Story
23

Somebody above mentioned “harm reduction” and in theory I am all for it…but usually it applies to people who are at risk of death if they don’t go this route. For example, safe injection sites with nurses on the premises is much safer than someone injecting alone on the street.

I’ve heard about similar places for alcohol. I forget what they call it but it is similar to a nursing home where residents receive controlled volumes of alcohol throughout the day. Going completely off alcohol would be dangerous for these people but so would allowing them to control their own intake.

It sounds to me like this is NOT the kind of situation you are in.

Do you think you can self control your own harm reduction? I know that I cannot do it for myself.

24

I am struggling with this today. I want to be able to have a couple of beers friday and Saturday and leave it the rest of the week. I said I would quit for lent. 10 days so far. Today I have drive an hour for kids basketball. This puts me just across the river from my favorite beer in Wisconsin. Can’t help but feel a 6 pack couldn’t kill me.

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25

See I never liked drinking moderately. I always wanted to be at least kinda drunk. Usually really drunk. I’ve done pretty terrible things under the influence and am scared to death of landing in jail.

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26

I tried moderating / bargaining for decades (hello progressive disease!). Also a binge drinker…could go weeks and be fine. Some days could have a glass of wine, some days two, some days, weeks…none…some days 3 bottles, some days 1 bottle. Some weeks drank every day. You never knew what you would get. Gave up whiskey when I was about 19, made me nuts, gave up beer at 25…swilled too much, gave up tequila in my 30s, switched to flavored martinis for my 40s…hello more blackouts…okay, let’s just do wine in my 50s…okay, maybe only drink weekends…oh a holiday! oh a birthday! oh a promotion! day ends in Y!! blah blah blah …So no…moderating doesn’t work for me…eventually I end up black out asshole drunk…car totaled, spitting at my husband, drunk dialing, fighting, blah blah blah…drunken mess.

If moderating works for you, bless you. Not our thing here…we have a problem with alcohol, a problem that requires abstinence. But most of us got here after the bargaining and moderating ran thin. It is a process getting sober and sane. I wish I was a quicker learner and could say I got sober earlier…but, that is life for me.

Blessed I never killed someone while drunk… and happy AF to be sober and alive after all those years.

Be a quick learner…that is my advice. Enjoy more of life sober.

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27

Yes. For us addicts, the drug is Bruce Lee being like fucking water. We keep trying to strike from a different angle, with a new technique, but that bastard just does what he’s going to do.

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28

Just the whole planning with moderate drinking is for me making it crips and clear, that we cannot do that. When you are an alcoholic this is not even an issue to think about. You will keep on drinking.

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29

If you are more comfortable starting with an attempt at moderate drinking, then start with that. It’s better to start taking some form of action than none.

Personally I still give myself permission to drink but always LATER. So Id start by trying to make it a week, then 2 then a month etc. Eventually I didn’t want to drink anymore. The more sober time I fit in the more useless my time spent drinking felt to me.

The key is to do some work while you make whatever first step is right for you. Personally reading the book “ sober for good “ and doing some free worksheets from SMART recovery website got the ball rolling.

It’s understandable that the idea of never drinking again is terrifying at this stage, expecially since you’ve never gone any real time without it.

Your confidence will build once you get some time in. Have you considered a 30 day detox to start with? If you string together enough of those, your already making huge improvements.

I do believe some people have to accept that they can never drink again and that is what keeps them sober. I also believe that for others the opposite is true. Sometimes when I put pressure on myself I insta fail. When there is no pressure to perform or succeed, I excel.

So when it comes to drinking and smoking, I always remind myself that I “CAN” drink or smoke at any time…So what’s the rush? Alcohol and cigarettes are not going anywhere, so I’m not missing anything, in other words it’s a choice. And I make it over and over and over again.

I’ve also set up rules like: no emotional, stress induced, boredom or celebration, peer pressure or “to fit in” drinking . So if I have an urge I have to wait until these things pass before considering it.

I know many people don’t agree with this but the Idea that there was only one way ( that didn’t suit me) to get and stay sober, kept me from trying, for a long time. So when it comes to your sobriety, you have to be willing to do what you have to do, try different things and accept that it’s not a linear trip with a destination. You’ll have to take chances and pick yourself up a few times until you figure out what works for you.

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30

I’ve tried moderate drinking… A Couple of times I have been able to do it and thought “hey I can do this!”, but most times I just get very drunk… It’s not good. I had to be honest with myself and cut it out completely. Its been a journey!

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31

Im happy for you :clap::clap::clap: stick to it :slight_smile:

32

It seems like you’re trying everything to get an excuse to drink. You aren’t here for no reason. If you have to try and justify your drinking or try to bargain then it seems clear that you have an issue with drinking.

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33

I might drink again someday. But not today. I might moderate someday. But not today. No matter what happens I will not drink today.

You see, if you tell yourself something like that while looking in the mirror every single morning then “someday” never comes. Forever is too big for us. We don’t know where we will be next week or next year. We can’t promice something like that. The rest of today tho? Now that we can handle. I know there’s a pretty darn good chance that I won’t drink today. That’s what I told myself this morning at least😉

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35

Only you can decide if you’re an alcoholic. I would suggest trying a meeting if you think you might have a problem and listen to what other people’s drinking was like. If you don’t hear anything you like go back out and try drinking moderately. If you can, you might not be an alcoholic, if you can’t go back to a meeting and ask them how to drink moderately.

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36

I can’t do it, I thought I could but it’s a slippery slope for me. I’m an all or nothing girl.

38

I can have just one. One handle of whiskey. That’s my moderation.