Did you yell because you were drunk, would you have yelled at her if you weren’t. Your mom shame is alcoholic next day shame we all have experienced. I’m a mom of three. My middle child doesn’t really talk to me much. I’ve been an on and off again drinker for 23yrs (113 days sober today thankfully) he’s going to be 26 at the end of the month. Speaking from experience, kids figure out drunk yelling and normal parenting yelling and it can affect them long term in their relationships with you. My other kids are 27 and 18 and I have a decent relationship with them but I regret ever drinking because I really screwed up with my kids. You don’t want to make that same mistake. Trust me
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Thank you so so much for sharing a little of your story with me. No I wasn’t drunk when I yelled at her. I think I just have like I don’t know bi polar moments ? Some times when I’m really tired or feel like my partner isn’t helping me much with the kids I just tend to yell all crazy. But every day I just try my damn hardest I have about 2 weeks under my belt and I’m really trying to do everything I can to avoid this cycle because I’m really really tired of that drunk version of me. When I’m sober I feel a little more confident as a mother, like fuck yeah I got this. but when I start to drink I start to doubt myself as a mother. I start to feel incompetent. Plus my mom guilt is just through the roof. My babies are 1 and 3 I feel like I still have time to change my ways. But I also feel like I’ve wasted so much time. Just this past Easter I was a drink mess 
my babies first Easter and I was drunk :(. But I need to remind myself that it’s not too late.
It’s not to late, they are so young that getting it together now and they will never remember you drank. You don’t have long under your belt so the mood swings are normal so they may be contributing to the snapping. The longer you can get under your belt not drinking the easier the parenting will be but that’s a catch cause parenting is hard as hell drunk or sober, it’s just more rewarding sober. It sounds like you know what to do now you just have to put that plan into place.
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Hmmm I didn’t even think my mood swings had to do with stopping alcohol. Thank you for sharing and for the advice!!
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Every day is a day with mom guilt.
The thing is we’re human and we make mistakes. And they’re human and they make mistakes. Not every day is fun and games and following the rules etc.
But I know you KNOW that. It doesn’t make the mommy guilt go away. Just know that you are a good mom and you’re doing the best you can.
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Thank you so much for that!!!
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So how are you doing lady
I have a big issue with guilt….when my son was born I was struggling with drinking and I beat myself up often for that, and I tend to overcompensate. He’s only 6, and he thinks I am just the best thing ever while I think I need lots of work lol (which I do). Quitting drinking helps with a lot of that guilt because I know it’s making all of our lives better. Apologizing to them and just reminding them that they are great kids and we love them is the bet thing we can do.
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I have a 4yo son and I completely understand where you’re coming from. Maintaining patience can be the hardest thing. I find myself snapping over silly things too. And I lay in bed at night thinking of all the ways I could have done better. What we have to do is remember to give ourselves grace. Not excuse our behavior, but acknowledged it and do our best to learn and grow from it. And of course make sure that we speak to our children, own up to our mistakes and apologize. Hang in there!
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