Any mommy’s on here dealing with mom guilt?
I know I beat myself up alot. Last night I yelled at my daughter for such a stupid reason and I fell asleep feeling horrible. I woke up this morning and got them ready to go with there dad but I just feel this hard guilt and regret on my chest. Like what the fuck is wrong with me? She just wanted grapes. Who cares if there’s ants and she drops them there just fuckn grapes.shes 3 I know her love for me is unconditional but I’m just so afraid to fuck her up psychologically I’m trying my best to be a good mom but most times I feel like my best is not enough. Like they deserve somebody better.
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Thank you.
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Hi @Gonzolady I’m not dealing with mom guilt but I can 100% tell you, you are not alone, and you are enough for your kids and you will always be good enough. 
If you type “mom guilt” in the search bar you will see there are many, many threads posted by people who are / were feeling the same thing you are feeling now - here are the results:
https://talkingsober.com/search?q=mom%20guilt
We’re all being something here in the world, but the thing is, if we forget the good-enough person we are, when we’re trying to become something we think we should be, we lose ourselves in the process.
You know what happens when your kids see you being forgiving and gentle with yourself (“I’m good enough, I’m ok, I’m riding this wave and we will be ok, my kids will be ok, no one says I have to be perfect and it’s literally impossible to be perfect and it’s actually not necessary at all - so we’re ok, my kids are ok, and my imperfections (which we all have) are part of being human and so they’re actually a strength because my kids seeing me accepting my imperfections is helping them to accept their own imperfections - and that is healthy”) - when your kids see that, they learn that being accepting and healthy and gentle with yourself is part of growth, no matter what your age - and that is exactly the lesson they need to learn.
We’re all growing. We’re all moving through life as perfectly imperfect humans - and that’s exactly what we need to be.
Throw some grapes on the kitchen floor and eat them. Hell, throw some grapes on the sidewalk and eat them. I dare you (seriously). (You’ll be fine.) It will be good practice for when life gives you an unexpected moment. 
You’re a good person and you’re a good mom and your kids will be ok. I promise you.
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This self-compassion meditation has been super helpful for me at times when I’m being harsh with myself (which usually are times I’m out of balance, when I’ve lost my perspective:
https://insighttimer.com/melliobrien/guided-meditations/self-compassion-meditation-2
Take care Gonzolady and remember: you’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
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I don’t know any mother who doesn’t have some sort of mom guilt. You are not alone. And there is also this. . .
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Hahaha ok will do. @Matt thank you!!! Thank you for always linking me up to other resources I really appreciate it. And your right I need to be gentle with myself.
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Thank you!! I’ll check it out
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Ok that - is hilarious. Thank you! I am planning the perfect time to get that book for a loved one in my life… 
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Not a mom, obviously…nor a parent…
My dad was an alcoholic. I dont remember any of it. He quit, stayed sober and was the best father I could ever have. Point being…the future is not written…changed behavior is the best apology.
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Absolutely. Guilt for the neglect and worry I inflicted on them when drunk. Even now I am less than patient sometimes. I just try to be open with them and keep making effort. You only get one mum, so mums just have to do their best. And best doesn’t mean perfect. I read somewhere that the most important thing is repair after conflict. Even after a scolding, I make sure my kids feel loved.
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@Matt , I just love what you said. I wish I had that there to read many times before when I was struggling. Honestly, your post made me tear up. I’ve been learning all of this along the way and it’s getting a little easier. My daughter is 16 now. @Gonzolady , I think in some ways, we grow with our children. I handle things a lot better now (not always that’s for sure) but one of the reasons I am way more patient and react less now is because I remember the feeling of guilt when I don’t respond the way I’d wish I had. I have to hold it in and breath when sometimes I want to raise my voice. I hate that guilty feeling and I sometimes woke up with the worst anxiety about it. There so much good advice in these posts though… We need to show our children it’s ok not be perfect. We can learn from our actions, forgive and move forward. Taking about it is good too. Even at three, it will help her learn to understand her emotions more too. Being a mom is tough. You’re doing great. Your daughter loves you 
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How are you doing today @Gonzolady? What’s in the plan today? A walk outside, some tasks, etc etc. How are things?
I’m a mom of 4, my oldest is 8 amd youngest is 1. I get it.
Give yourself some grace. Being a mom is CONSTANT. doesn’t matter if we’re anxious, tired, sick, sad, whatever! Sometimes its hard to show up softly.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that my children can only show up as children. Apologize, and remind her that grown ups can be wrong sometimes. Taking accountability is one of the best things I think, we can do as parents. Show our children that we too are part of the human experience.
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Hello there!! Yeah I have been staying busy, played in the pool with my kiddos! I got a Part time job that I’m focusing on and I’m really excited about!! But I’m just trying to remember to stay present.
This morning my anxiety was pretty bad so I just put some loud music on outside and ran around the yard like a crazy person haha it definitely helped!!
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Wow you’ve made some great points. Thank you so much for your advice 
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Thank you so much!!! 
very very true.
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Thank you !!
Good for you! I do that too. I run around my basement (sometimes singing wildly). It helps release pressure and it feels good
You’re a good mom and you are exactly what you and your kids need: you are enough exactly as you are. You are ok, and you guys will figure it out, together, in this perfectly imperfect life.