I go through these waves where I can manage to stay sober for a month or two, then I get a little comfortable and stop fighting my demons as I feel it’s something that’s become natural (staying sober). Then I realize how wrong I was. Staying sober is LITERALLY a daily battle. How do you manage to keep that motivation going when you get comfortable in your sobriety? How do you remember that this is everyday, not just today. I’m really disappointed in myself as I feel like I’m slowly hitting rock bottom again… and deep in my heart I know I’m not ready to stop, but I have to!
I go to meetings. But until your ready to stop you will keep drinking. I knew for years that I needed to stop, but that didn’t matter until I was actually ready to put in the work. Bottoms aren’t fun, but they are pretty helpful for recovery. Good luck and God bless.
I’m at the same place right now and feel so incredibly disappointed and ashamed of myself. Judging from my pattern, it’s that feeling of being comfortable and foolishly believe that this time it will be different.
Perhaps people who have been longer in recovery can help with this.
Good luck and stay strong, if we’ve done for a month 0r two, we can doing it for more!
Like @Englishd said you will not stop until you accept that you are an alcoholic and that you have no control over this shit…truly letting go of the thought of ever drinking again is pretty much a must…I used to relapse every month or so for a few years…went in and out of rehabs 4 times…not until I started believing in the program and myself did this start to work for me…Lots and lots of meetings is the cure for many…maybe for you aswell…give yoursef that chance…
Many of us work programs. There’s no magic secret to getting sober. It requires work and change.
I feel like there is a huge difference between being an alcoholic and having a “drinking problem.” When I started this I figured I take the six weeks of my IOP as “time off” from drinking then I’d be fine. I’d have more and new information and tools and I’d be able to control it. Boy was I wrong!!!
I have found that meetings are super helpful even though I don’t have a sponsor and are not truly working through the steps. Hearing the experiences of others, finding relatable people and learning about how others are working the steps and what they are learning helps me be more set on staying sober.
I also rely on this forum and the people here like @Englishd who have and are in my same position. Especially when I can’t get to a meeting!
Stay strong and remember you are not alone here. There are so many of us in your position now or in the past!
Thanks, everyone. I feel like I’ve done this so many times before. Get super motivated, go out and spend tons of money on reading material, find every damn meeting I can go to, but then I lose momentum and there goes every attempt to get sober. I have small children at home, work full time and take online classes. You’d think I wouldn’t have any time for my shenanigans, but I do. I’ve gone to many different meetings, but never an actual AA meeting. I don’t care how tired I am today, or how guilty I will feel for leaving my small children with my 19 year old, I will make it to a meeting tonight! No more excuses. I am consumed by guilt/shame and all I want to do is curl up into a ball hide in my room, but I know that guilt will only keep me away from alcohol for so long.
Do you have a sponsor? It helps to be accountable to someone
Ultimately your 19 year old will be happier to have a sober and healthy mom. I’m glad you are making this the priority it should be!
I love hearing about other types of meetings bc I don’t have the opportunity to try them out. Which ones did you like/not like? Why? C’mon I need details lol