I’m really struggling at the moment to juggle my sobriety and my mother’s neediness. I’ve tried telling her that somedays I don’t like to chat on the phone and need some space. She’s immediately turns things around to me not wanting to talk to her, she’s missing me etc etc. Sometimes I feel like I’m not allowed to do what I need to do because it will somehow offend mum of I’m not telling her every thought that enters my head. She takes it all personally. My mother has always been an incredibly strong controlling part of my life. I’m trying to push back a little to get some space but feel guilty. Anyone else have this kind of struggle?
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Don’t answer the phone. I’ve learned also in recovery and therapy that you shouldn’t be afraid to set boundaries. People respect them more than shun them. Your mom may be taken aback at first but she should respect them soon enough. However, whether she does or not, at the end of the day you need to make you happy. Boundaries will help in that regard.
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Thanks. Sometimes It’s hard standing up for yourself against someone with a strong personality but you’re right, I need to do this for me.
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We all face this dilemna. Often the actual conversation is easier than we anticipate. I hope that’s the case here. Either way, you’ll be happier. Good luck.
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Like Jim said it’s hard but the best for you is to put some boundaries that will help you. Try not to feel guilty even if is hard but is the best for you don’t answer the phone all the time and give your self your own time. A big hug !
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