Good morning everyone. Part of my recovery is to be honest and to share my story when I can. Normal I share at the tables but obviously with everything going on that is not happening. The virtual meetings are not the same but I feel I need to share this story so here it goes:
Yesterday I went grocery shopping for the first time in about 2.5 weeks or really first time since we were locked down. The thought of going back in public scared me. A bit of a history lesson I was a binge drinker with social anxiety. I would get anxious just going to grocery stores in my active drinking days and it took a long time to get comfortable doing things on my own after I stopped drinking. So yesterday was a test run on the new process and dealing with ppl in a public place in the hopes they follow the rules and I walked in the doors after saying a prayer in my truck. I did not make eye contact. I grabbed a cart and went to the back of the store and immediately got only items I needed. As long as I was moving I was good. Only a couple times there were ppl blocking isles and wanting to talk but I pushed pass them and made it through trying to keep my breathing in check. Once I got to the checkout I could breath again. I calmed down and recapped the experience. I realized that I blew past the liquor isle without noticing it. I got home and talked to my sponsor to get it out of my head. I did have a drinking dream last night which means that it affected me more than I thought. I’m sharing the story because it helps me and may be someone else too. I know that next time I go it will be less scary. I know I tell ppl to back up if they are too close. I may even smile and make eye contact. That’s for reading. Have a great day.
