What do yall do when you are feeling completely unmotivated, drained, and/or don’t know where to begin on big life changes?
Good question! Usually when Im in that state of not knowing how to begin or Im feeling unmotivated/drained, i focus on “baby steps” (making small changes) first. These small changes not only make a big impact down the road, but it also helps me build up momentum, which cures me from that state of feeling unmotivated.
I am a goal oriented person and love my To Do lists lol. Setting realistic and achievable goals helps me stay focused and the daily To Do lists helps me stay on track. I sort of make it apart of my routine. I do things every day to work towards that ultimate goal.
For example: When I first came into recovery this time around, I felt clueless as to what to do to get clean. So I focused on “baby steps” . I started by developing a morning recovery routine. On my To Do list, I have prayer, TS, recovery readings, helping others, & doing a gratitude list. Over time, by doing something recovery related every day, it helped with my overall goal of long term sobriety.
Hope this makes sense and maybe helps to answer ur question ![]()
Are u wanting to make a big life change right now and are not sure how to go about it? Or would u like to elaborate on ur post abit? Maybe we can be of some help ![]()
Become committed.
Motivation is the temporary, emotional drive or desire that gets you started on a goal.
Commitment is the consistent, disciplined, and often difficult action of continuing that work, even when you do not feel motivated.
Commitment will always take you further than motivation.
I go to sleep.
I give myself some time & space but set a start time to begin one thing on my list. When I begin, I do it to completion (as long I have everything needed to do so) and then move onto the next task.
Getting motivated to begin can be tough. Especially if it’s a shit job…sometimes I’ve found that rewarding myself after doing the crappy task with something fun, trains me to not resist starting another not-so-fun thing & gives me incentive.
Very good question.
unmotivated
Not relevant. Motivation comes from doing, not the other way. Simple psychologic brain-knowledge.
I DO. Babysteps, minitasks, everything counts, no matter how big or small. Yes, bring the trash out, wash my face, deep breathing … all that counts.
drained.
That’s a biggie for me.
Cutting down tasks, to dos, daily things, even thinking about problems/situations/feelings into smaller tasks, smaller focus, sometimes until the task at hand is exactly this: one handmove (e.g. I had days when I put 1 dish in the dishwasher, later another one, until evening the dishwasher was filled and starting it was the final task).
Checking HALT multiple times a day, reacting accordingly.
Brutally shut down and cut out everything and everyone not necessary for surviving (keep the emotional support system priority). Where this is not an option: distance to the max, communication to the min, boundaries up & upper.
For me first comes the less to make space to discover what I need and then comes the work to meet my needs.
Sleep. When my sleep gets crappy, I have reliable sleep medication. They saved my head from exploding more than once. Early to bed and tomorrow is another day to tackle important things focused and leave the rest to the universe. A heartfelt go fuck yourself and leave me alone, I don’t care about your bullshit attitude sometimes works wonders. Being kind to myself is key, trying to push through or force things had bad adverse effects.
Begin big life changes
Just keep going. You already started them. One step at a time, patient, committed, every day a little bit, a general plan with more detailed sub-plans might help. I love checklists and overview posters. Know where you are going and then: go. Do. The biggest changes consist of many many little steps, little changes, practiced new routines, build up strength over time, kindness and gratitude. My back to basics always looks the same: focus on what I can do today, being grateful for what I did yesterday and no worries about tomorrow. In babysteps. Our best looks different every day. Someday we need rest more than anything else. That’s ok too.
Keep going ![]()
Thank you so much! I do love a good to do list. I am generally a highly efficient person. I am just feeling overwhelmed and drained & this is leading to procrastination and self esteem things. I can’t openly go into detail about my life event but if open to private messaging I can elaborate there
I have been doing so much sleeping ![]()
My job has definitely gone to shit . A restructure put a certain person in power that is unqualified and unable to perform her duties . Last week she verbally yelled at me & was completely unprofessional in front of other people that I report to (all of this because I would not engage in a conversation with her that is above my role within the organization structure). It was not my place or scope & it was unprofessional/inappropriate of her
Thank you so much for this ! I really want to limit any and all unnecessary stress factors during this time. I think it is causing the complete mental wipeout and drawing me off my course. I am going to put all of these into practice ! Great advice !!
That really sucks &
on whoever thought it was a good idea to place a unqual in a position of authority with no people skills or thorough knowledge of the responsibilities of the position. I feel for you.
This too shall pass, friend. Hang in there.
Hey of course youre always welcome to message me
If u need to get anything off ur chest, feel free to send a message!
Right!!! Unfortunately the way our org is set up, she stepped in as interim ceo (after serving on our board of directors as president). She is past her interim term & the president , president elect are clones to her. The whole situation is awful and a lot of employees are affected by her (crying at work, fearful of losing their jobs), unless you are one of her favorites.
Thank you!!! I am trying ! I am damn good at what I do but don’t tolerate bullshit from anyone (for the most part). And that was some bullshit
I’m glad sharing my own experiences helps ![]()
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For me the game changed and turned when I found out how to focus on what I can do (today) and absolutely strictly put everything and everyone besides this on mute. The how is individual and I discovered different strategies. I liked trying out tools, approaches, noticing what worked, what fit me, combined them.
I learned to bring myself back to "focus!!! here!!! honey, you survive, all good, no sidetracking, grab food, drink water, no we don’t do this anymore, sweetheart that is NOT helpful come back, brain sit, emotions are on meditation pause I need rest from myself, you are a good girl keep going (most stolen from here on TS ![]()
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Sending good vibes ![]()
With that sort of history behind her, you are not going to win this one. Learn to accept this as it is, derive some good from it, or move on.
No bullshittery person here too.
You know what’s best for you and you will figure out a proper way to handle it.
In case you need virtual support: The Gulaschkessel is on the fireplace at the fuck right off thread (German phrase: To put someone in the Gulaschkessel and cook them).
Thank you everyone !!!