I hear ya. Thank you for your wise words. I’m not sure about the labels, but I think they are sometimes necessary to describe the situation where we are in like diagnoses. But I definitely understand your wise point. But I’m sick, I need meds and therapy but I’m not saying I need those for the rest of my life. But I’m an alcoholic and addict for the rest of my life and I’m cool with that.
And when I’m sad, I like to listen sad music because it makes me feel better, it soothes and comforts me, like I can kinda share the sadness with someone (the artist or band). Then I don’t feel so lonely.
And yes, little by little, that’s the name of the game. My problem has been that I’ve been trying to achieve too much as fast as I can. But now as I’m in recovery, I’ve been learning to take it easy, to chill, to slow down. There’s no rush.
I AM are two very powerful words and what you put after those two words becomes your identity. Be very careful what you choose to add after those two words. Language, especially the English language, is a way of spell casting, that’s why they call it spelling!
Are you sick or are you just a man who hasn’t felt what needs to be felt? There are ways to change your state and when you label yourself, you make it harder to change, you create a box that you are stuck in, instead of knowing that you don’t have to be stuck, you can choose to not label yourself and get out of the box, which helps the mind to find ways out. There are many ways out but they don’t start with saying I AM sick or I am bipolar. All these mental illnesses are just sets of symptoms that people with fancy letters infront of their names decided to label as one thing, when in realty, as I said, they are just sets of symptoms that tell an individual story.
I respect that you want to listen to sad music when you are sad however if you chose to listen to something with a higher frequency you could change that frequency and FEEL better more often.
I understand what you’re meaning. But what about cancer patients? They are cancer patients, right? And so it’s valid to say I AM a cancer patient or is there a other way to say it?
Great questions. At the end of the day people are just men and woman, so any sentence can start with, I am a man/woman who…finish the sentence describing what may be affecting you. It’s good practice to find a better feeling thought and move from there. example - I am a man who is experiencing pain in certain areas or I am a woman who received a diagnosis of - and I am choosing to not identify with that diagnosis but instead to believe that my body is always doing what it can to come back to homeostasis (which is actually true, the body is always healing itself )
We are not our labels, we are men and woman in miraculous bodies, here to experience life.
Dr Joe Dispenza’s work shows just how incredible our bodies are. He has witnessed people reverse blindness on his stage, right in front of him! I’ll share his website if you are interested.
Thank you for sharing those thoughts, they are amazing! Our bodies are truly amazing. And gotta check that doctor and that link.
13 AF, 57 weed free
I’ve been awake since 4am because my oldest son (turning 21 this July) js having a really rough patch and I’ve been messaging with him. He’s been diagnosed with severe depression and he’s using lots of drugs. He’s said to me that drugs are the only reason why he’s still alive. He has lots of suicidal thoughts and he has admitted that one day he will kill himself when he’s too tired to live. As a parent, this is crushing me. I can only do my best to help him…
I’m sorry to hear your son is struggling. I know you must be worried sick about him right now. Taking care of yourself and getting yourself on track is the best thing you can do for him right now though . Give him the right example of how things can be turned around and it can get better.
Thank you, Tisha. Yes, I’m worried as fuck and it’s driving me crazy that I can’t do anything to help him except being there for him. I’m scared because yesterday he posted a very suicidal story in Instagram and last night when we messaged he was wasted of using lots of different drugs. And I’m so worried because he says that only drugs are keeping him alive, that the high he gets from them is preventing his suicide, without the drugs the pain is too much to handle. So sad.
Another day almost behind at the psych ward. I messaged with my son and he passed out last night on the bathroom floor. Thank God he’s ok. He’s still living with his mom, my ex-wife, but she doesn’t know how serious problem our son has with his drug abuse and mental health problems. She seems to think his actions are just normal partying for his age and his depression is just a phase. But our son trusts in me and he has told me everything and the truth is killing me. All I can do is to be present to him and to take care of myself by staying sober to give him a good example how his twisted dad survived from mental health problems and drinking, smoking and using shit. I’m really scared and worried but I’m trying to stay positive. Luckily I’m right now here at the ward where I’m safe and I don’t have opportunity to use anything although I could leave any time I want. But I’m gonna stay here. I’m confident that everything’s gonna be allright and my beloved son will survive.
I slept okay and now I’m just listening Mazzy Star’s soothing songs and waiting for a breakfast and coffee. I’m really depressed and sad, but I’m happy that in two days I’ve been without weed for two months and that’s a huge milestone for me.
I’m still so worried about my son, but there’ s nothing I can do at the moment. I just have to wish he’s okay. I feel so guilty because one of the reasons he’s so depressed and using drugs is because he had to wittness as a teenager when I was out of my mind. But one of the psych nurses here comforted me that I was sick and I couldn’t help myself.
Today’s quote is from Robert Frost:
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
What a day this has been at the ward. A true emotional rollercoaster once again. I suddenly crashed and talked to my own nurse and I told her how I have suicidal thoughts and shit and she said that I can’t go outside today because of those thoughts. So, I’ve been staying inside the whole day and just listening to music.
Luckily my son seems to feel better now. I’ve been messaging with him and we’ve been sharing new music whenever we find some good new tracks.
If I’m feeling better tomorrow, I’m gonna visit home, but let’s see because I’m a total mess right now, my mind seems to be so fucking broken. This all feels like a total nightmare, but gotta just trust that everything is gonna be allright. Hope is all I got left.
Hey @MrMoustache
How’s it going now? It sounds like it’s been an incredibly rough day. Thanks for being so raw and vulnerable on here. You aren’t alone.
I know how much strength it takes to not give up when suicidal thoughts have a foothold. I think it was really brave of you to tell the nurse what was going on and what thoughts you were having. I’m happy that you have hope still. Hang in there okay? If you ever need someone to talk to, reach out anytime
Thank you. Yeah, it’s not easy for me to ask help, but I was in such a bad place that I had to tell her. I burst into tears, I was such a mess. And thank you, I will reach out if needed.
I woke up a little bit before 7am and my roommate was already drawing. He’s so devoted to it, it clearly keeps him grounded. We’ve been sharing a room almost for two weeks and we haven’t said a word to each others, not even hi or good morning, but that’s not uncomfortable, that feels natural.
But another day ahead. I’m waiting a breakfast and coffee and if I’m feeling like it, I’m gonna visit my home today and then come back in the evening. I’m listening emo rap at the moment and getting comfort from it, music is so important to me.
My moods are pretty low, I’m feeling like something is just broken inside of me and I don’t know how to repair it. I feel like I’m living in a nightmare where I just can’t wake up from. But I’m meeting my doctor and crew tomorrow and they are thinking what to do with me.
But I wish you all a great 24! We got this, let’s enjoy for being alive!
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