My 2020 vision

This is something I have been thinking about doing for a long time. When I think about the social situations I have been in, which all include alcohol, almost all of them have a negative point during the event which I put down to alcohol. When I drink I can be totally fine and then even a tiny thing happens that annoys me and it’s like I flip a switch, I become a whole other person who is really horrible and pushes the people I love away. When this happens it’s like I can see what I’m doing from a distance but I don’t have any power to stop myself. I have ruined a few events and friendships with this.

I want to take a stand against the part of me that I hate, the alcohol induced part.

What I think I will struggle with the most is not having a vice, or coping mechanism. If I have a bad day at work I like to go home and have a drink. I don’t smoke and don’t want to start. I dabbled with some drugs when I was a fresh 18 year old but thankfully none of those habits stuck. I’m worried about what I will turn to as a substitute…


Welcome to the forum! We all struggle with this little tidbit. If you search through the threads, boredom and coping come up a lot. Using alcohol as a coping mechanism is often how it all starts. Then it comes from bad day to good day. From good day to celebrating. From pissed off to happy. There’s always a reason to drink - but never a good reason.

I am 50 years old and back to Day 3. I’ve been trying to get and stay sober for two decades. Still working on it.