My Alcoholic destruction

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Okay. A week of being sober. After another failed relationship. This one hurts the most. Can’t see my newborn of four months for another two weeks. Moved into a new flat on my own. First time ive been on my own for 15 years. The last 7 days have been pain real pain. Alcohol destroyed my last relationship. Years on dismissing I had a problem. Only drink friday to sunday. But its how much I consume in that time frame. Being blinded to what a complete tit i have been even with a newborn in the frame. Alcohol makes seek attention online, i become a cheat, paranoid, and seek gratification. I dont know why I havent got a clue but once a bottle and half of yellowtail shiraz Is consumed im we’ll on the way to be a complete different person then another bottle later. Abyss appears and im gone have no clue what happened of the night b4. Only to be told. You went on a dating website and cheated on me. Blacking out isnt an excuse. It just helps the shame.

This really hurts because catch me Monday to Thursday im bubbly, fun, banter at work. Yet come friday. Im gone. A slave to the shiraz. Even a newborn couldn’t stop me from consuming. Well not no more. I need to be the best version of me. The best version for my son. On a brighter note I get to see my son tomorrow my ex parnter is bringing her to meet my mum and dad and i come a little after. Can’t wait. Can’t wait for these 14 days to pass so I can actually communicate with my ex partner to have some dates on when to see my son.

A friend once said to me many, many years ago.

Lee, your the nicest person in the world. Yet give you a drink and you become a completely different person. This has always stuck with me ever since I have no clue why it hasnt stop me drinking. The power of pick and choose goes out the window. I am powerless to alcohol

The next two weeks are gonna be tough. Gym and work help but once I close that door in my new flat. Loneliness appears again raising its weary head. I need your help guys to help me get through and stay sober.

Lee

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Welcome @Lee8418 this community has helped me thru the lonely growing pains. I hope you find the support you are looking for.

I understand seeming like a different person and acting against one’s values after drinking. It doesnt feel good.

Maybe write down what values and morals are important to you, how you werent living up to them using, and how you can teach your kids those values thru your actions.

Good for you for getting thru the first week. Thats amazing!

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Thank you so much for getting in touch. I need the support of everyone.

Your input is invaluable.

Thank you so much.

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Hi Lee welcome,

Glad you found this app and this forum. It helped me big time. First year of my sobriaty I was here every day. Now 7 sober years later I’m still here a lot. My advice would be: be here much! There is a sober check in thread I would recommend: Checking in daily to maintain focus #83 - #1221 by RaggedTrouseredPhil Feel free to join! Also reading other stories helps!

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Hang in there. Congratulations on the new baby. I stopped drinking when my granddaughter was born. That was two years ago. I love having a clear head and spending quality time with them. And I want to be around physically and emotionally for them. I say “them” because now I have a 4 month granddaughter too.:smiley:

Try and stay busy and distracted when the urge hits. You can do this. It’s worth it and it sounds to me like you know that.

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Thank you so much.

This is what I need to carry on words of support from people who have been there