My beginning

To be honest, I’m not really sure where to begin. I’ve been through a lot, and very recently just started to realize that as much fun as I have when I’m having some drinks it always turns into me being far more drunk then I’d like to be, then that leads to cocaine and then that leads to extremely rough days at work and in my personal life.

I know I’m better than this cycle and it’s been harder than ever to get out of it. I’m finding myself chosing to stay home and have some beers and then get high instead of just trying to socialize and see the people i care about, what makes it worse is that I hide all of those facts from everyone I care about.

I usually go on weekend benders, even if it’s just me home alone, and then Monday’s suck twice as much as they should but the rest of the week isn’t too hard of a battle unless I’m home alone. Everything just feels like such a mess … I’m having a hard time accepting it but I know what is.

Life is super heavy right now, there is just way too much shit going on and being in an altered state of mind just seems to be the only way I can let rhings go even if it’s just for a moment.

Ugh … I don’t know… I’ve got a lot to say but don’t feel like I’ve got a safe enough place to say it, so … here I am.

Day 2.

Hoping to get passed this weekend and make it to a week. I know that 1 beer leads to more and then eventually to a bag most times.

Here’s to day 2 and letting go of some thoughts.

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Take it one hour at a time if you have too!

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Alcohol and addiction want you to isolate yourself. You can “hope” all you want to stay sober, but if you don’t make changes and have a plan for your recovery, your chances are very slim. Lots of great resources for recovery on this forum. Talking sober has been an important tool in my sobriety toolkit. Rooting for you.

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Welcome Jen :slight_smile:

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We don’t ever have to do day two again, Jen. Hugs to ya. That’s all we need to focus on is today. Tomorrow will come and we focus our strength and press on another. It’s too big to try and forecast a month, year, a lifetime.

As time goes on we add skills and abilities to cope with life’s challenges and the obsession fades. Emotions return as we blunted them before and holy shit we make sound choices/decisions again!

This place has answers, meetings do too and so does helping others find sobriety when they ask for help.

You’re in the right place, the healthy and happy place. Welcome to TS!

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