Hey everyone, I’m hoping to get some advice because I’m really feeling lost right now. My dad has been dealing with alcohol addiction for a while, and it’s been such a difficult journey for all of us. He’s tried to quit multiple times, and each time he promises it’ll be different, but he always goes back to drinking. I can see how much he struggles, but it’s breaking my heart to watch him go through this cycle again and again.
I’ve been researching different programs and treatment options, and I came across Pacific Interventions, which offers specialized programs for alcohol addiction. They seem to have a lot of different approaches, like interventions and detox treatments, but I’m not sure what’s the best way to help him at this point. I don’t know if I should be pushing for him to try another program or if there’s something else I should be doing to support him without enabling the behavior.
For anyone who’s gone through this, either with a loved one or personally, what has helped you the most? I just want to see him healthy again, but I don’t know what the next step should be.
Welcome, Mary. You can probably find some information on the Al-Anon site. It’s a group for the family and friends dealing with an alcoholic in their life.
You’re in a terrible spot worrying for a loved one. There is nothing you can do for him except encourage him that things can be different if he so chooses. He needs to make a decision and then put in the work. There is no magical solution and no specialised program that is a guarantee. Most ppl who go to AA experience a jolt of hope and support and that’s a good starting point.
I encourage you to take your own position and your own struggle seriously and look out for your own emotional balance and wellbeing. That’s your side of this.
I’m so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here to write in Mary.
When my children were in active addiction my life became totally unmanageable. The chaos was just too much for me. I was forced unwillingly into Al-Anon at one of their many rehabs we forced them into.
They both relapsed when they came home a couple of times. Thank god for Al-Anon because by then I was truly lost and at my wits end. I found, after try several Al-Anon meetings a group with mostly parents who knew what I was going through. They didn’t fix the problem. But I wasn’t alone and could start working on me.
Now I go to Al-Anon because my wife is an active alcoholic and it has open my eyes and changed my world. It hasn’t fixed my wife. But I’m at peace now letting my wife live with the dignity of making her own choices and living her own life. And I can still live my life.
Yes, I am sad she drinks all the time. But I’m powerless over people, places, and things. And I’m especially powerless over alcohol.
I see you’ve been given the Al-Anon web site and that thread Aga mentioned.
Hi, this was me and my Dad. I drank with him. He passed away in 2018. I hope i never experience this kind of pain and loss in my life again. I wish I could take back every bad word said to him. He tried very hard to cut back drinking but he couldn’t do it. He was amazing. He felt he failed us all because he couldn’t control his drinking. If he was alive today I would try and be more supportive of him and show him how I have done it Dad, I don’t drink anymore. He would probably join me! We left it to late… he is proud of me now but I’ve lost him and with him I have lost a huge part of me. I have to learn to live without him now. I miss him more every day. I don’t think anyone can give up drink until they make the decision themselves
