So before this my story goes: finished a sobriety program, went to aa meetings everyday, was sober for 4 months, all is well. then i stopped attending meetings, thinking like almost every alcoholic that I’m cured, no more cravings I don’t need aa. So a few weeks went by, got my own place to live and I’m the owner of it, the first day struck me with euphoria (which aa says is a very dangerous state and you should go to aa asap) and thought what the hell! it’s my day I can celebrate! so bought a 1l of vodka, the next day another, 5 days passed. then i thought shit this is getting out of hand, so decided to quit cold turkey. first 8 hours of no drink were ok, small visual blobs when eyes closed. but at 12 hours hell began, started seeing pornographic images when eyes closed, saw my phone screen with which i could interact with my mind, go into apps etc. I thought fuck i need to sleep asap, but that didn’t work out. next on 16h all hell broke loose, went for a piss, then i saw scotch tape all over my room, what the hell i thought, i touched the tape it disappeared and when i looked away and looked back it appeared, upon staring it for a while the tape untaped itself and formed into a small stickman type figure, then i knew im in the DT zone. Every room i went there was either tape or small black blobs, and if you give them long enough attention they form into those stickmens. at my bathroom was the worse, on the bathroom carpet 30 of them formed, some were dancing, others fighting, looked like something from one of my partys. thought ok i need to wait this out and ignore them, so went into my phone, i shit you not they were in my phone, for example if i was watching a YouTube video they would appear in the background, looked apart of the video, you couldn’t tell they were fake. so i waited a few hours and they disappeared, i thought woohoo the dt’s are probably at the end? oh no they werent.
next spiders started to appear (not actual spiders, just like a tattoo or logo) everywhere i looked, on my skin, walls, everywhere. ok decided to try to sleep, and when i closed my eyes i could see literall hell. first time i closed my eyes i could see a spiral like one of those hypnosis spirals, if i looked long enough in the centre there would form a red dot and out of that dot a hand would come out and lunge towards me. ok no sleep i guess. around hour 24 i decided to try to sleep, closed my eyes and i was teleported into hell once more, this time it was just endless spiders attacking me in a red background. fuck, i need to wait more, 2 more hours laters when eyes closed i could see a man running through a tunnel (the graphics looked like that win98 maze screensaver) the tunnel collapsing and the spiders with the man plummeting to a different tunnel which was more like a half pipe shape. at this point im fearing for my sanity and life. called the ambulance, they came and inject me and said i would sleep, ok i thought. waited a few more hours and decided to try to close my eyes, then i saw three different tunnels, markes with happy face, sad face, angry face, and whichever emotion i felt at the time that path was chosen, random people ran those mazes, spiders, all fighting crashing, falling below to the next platform. at this point im thinking about ER. still trying to sleep after a few hours of using my phone i closed my eyes. I saw naked women getting torn to shreds by monstrosities beyond human comprehension, then the scene would change to cats attacking lions, a penis spliting into 6 parts and forming an octopus, those platforms from a while ago coliding with eachother, random creatures crashing into the debri, everything went 5x normal speed, i thought im either gonna go into a seizure or go insane. so i called for the ambulance and went to the hospital, they put me in a room onto a bed, gave me 2 jabs and i finally could sleep.
I’m going back to aa after this, I can’t drink, after this episode it’s obvious.
thank you for reading
Sounds terrifying! There’s no going back.
Welcome to an awesome sober community. That sounds hellish. Welcome back to your sober path @shadow
Holy fuck. I hope your health is okay. Thats a trip.
Welcome to the community 
That definitely sounds like you went through a terrible and scary time.
You don’t have to ever go through that again, unfortunately for alot of us would we even be lucky enough to survive another relapse.
Your story really touched me, and I hope today you are doing alot better. I logged in as I was feeling like buying the same drink you speak of above, and that I feel I’m manage etc… And I logged in to help me get through those cravings and messed up thoughts and your post was the first I read earlier and keep thinking about it.
It was a wake up call for me to stop thinking il be okay and remember to just take today one day at a time.
How are you doing ?
I’m happy my story helped you, I’m doing way better, was in the hospital for a week, now I’m at my 2nd day at home, went to AA the first day and told my story there, 4 people resonated with my story as well. I got prescribed some anti anxiety meds and ant psychosis meds also some meds to help with the cravings, after a week I’m starting to feel like myself again.
thankfully no permanent damage, but at the time i thought I’ll be schizophrenic, thank god that wasn’t the case!
I’m so glad you have had support and are feeling more like yourself 
Congrats on your 2 days, this is huge !! Those first few days breaking the cycle were difficult for me.
I’m really proud of you of you getting help, and getting to meetings for some extra support and tools to help you.
Your doing really well, and I’m so glad that you are okay and back on track.
Stick with us here, it really is so supportive and we get it, we understand and for me that was what helped me open up and let myself be supported.
