My drinking killed my relationship

So two months ago my relationship ended because of my drinking. He’d gotten to the point he was tired of my attitude and drinking and couldn’t deal with it anymore. He told me he still loves me as a friend. I’m just wondering if there’s any hope of ever getting my relationship back. I know time is the only thing that can change things. He’s afraid I’ll return to my old pattern of drinking and he told my friend he’s done with the relationship. Can I ever get his trust back?
I’m so frustrated that I let things get to the point they were. I’m 75 days sober and I know I have to do this for me and I am. But I can’t give up the hope that we’ll find each other again. I feel very lost.


Welcome to the community Amanda and great work on 75 days of sobriety!

Keep at it as actions speak loudest - your sobriety will show your seriousness to your new path in life.

Unfortunately we can never know if our loved once will fully forgive us and how long it would take for them to even consider it. All we can do is keep faith that amends can be made. Just need to keep working on ourselves.

Grateful to have you here with us. I do hope you keep on the sobriety path! Great group of people on this app and loads of support here.


Im in the same boat as you, im only 52 days sober and i am utterly lost without my wife of 15 years (been together 20). I have done alot of harm by choosing the booze and having mentally checking out for a long time. But getting myself sober is incredibly important for me and I hope that she will see the difference sooner rather than later.


If its at all possible the only path for that leads through sobriety I think. Focus on staying sober and you and see what happens.


Wondering how you’re doing, Amanda. Hope you’re hanging in there.

Welcome aboard, Justme52. Wishing you well on your journey.

52 days is amazing. Keep your sobriety a priority and your actions will shine through.

We have to do this for ourselves and hope that our loved ones see the changes in us. I do hope that it is sooner for you too. We are here for you in your sober journey.

In my experience there’s a difference between being sober and being in recovery. The problem is at the time I was sober I didn’t know the difference. In recovery, you look for solutions, and stop looking at the problems. You stop looking at your failures and start looking at your successes. Address your character flaws, and make improvements. (99% of my flaws, I didn’t even know I had… sad) Let go of resentments and make amends where I could. As for trust, it’s not something given but earned. I try to let my thoughts, words and actions have value, meaning and substance. I told my partner 1,000,000,000 times I was going to stop drinking and by noon that very same day I was drinking again. Perhaps, that was never your problem! It was mine for sure. I hope you’re able to truly make a decision and stop drinking, but only time will tell. Unfortunately, time takes time and I was very impatient.


Very well said.

I’m hanging in there 3 months today. I cut off contact so I can heal. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back around. I think there might be more to his reasons for leaving. All I can do right now is focus on my health and sobriety.

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Three months is terrific! Well done.

[quote=“Mander0712, post:12, topic:171170”]
If it’s meant to be it’ll come back around.
[/quote]. Yes. Trust in your process, focus on your journey. The rest will take care of itself! Hugs!

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