Hi, I am new to this community, today is my day one, it’s been about 20 hours since my last drink. I have a pretty bad headache but what hurts the most is the pain I’ve inflicted on my loved ones through my behavior. My heart feels broken, I feel anxious, depressed, scared. But I know I have a chance to change my life. Any prayers sent my way will be greatly appreciated, I know it will be a long and painful night.
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Welcome Jessica I know it’s tough right now but the good news is you can repair any hurt caused by fully embracing recovery and over time by staying sober and living true to yourself. Try not to think about it too much, all that matters right now is that you don’t pick up a drink, I’ve been where you are albeit with drugs, it’s the same animal❤️
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I promise it does get easier, I’ve been there. I wouldn’t even want to count how many times I’ve had the same thoughts and emotions. Just take it in little steps, every minute every hour and every day is an accomplishment 15 little steps are 1 big step it’s worth it❤️ if you need someone to chat with feel free to message me
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Hi Jessica I feel your pain , but this feeling will pass and when it does you need to remember it for the future to help you not to relapse, I’m only on day four But when i hear your pain it reminds me where i was 3 days ago, i wish you sll the best and some great advice on hear is don’t put yourself down keep your head up don’t feel guilty and take one day at a time,all the best
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Hey there. I’m on day 81. My day 1 was just like yours. Just get through today. Write down how you feel. That helped me. Go for a walk. Tomorrow will be just a little better than today. And same thing the next day. But just get through today. You can do it.
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Welcome to the community, Jessica! Don’t worry too much, it will get better like others have stated. Now it’s just important to focus on one day at a time. We all are in the same boat. You got this, stay strong!
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Welcome to the community, CarryTheFire! And congrats on day 81, that’s awesome!
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Day 2! I already do feel better than yesterday physically but not so much emotionally. You start realizing all the pain you’ve caused, the magnitude of everything. And then dealing with just regular life matters is almost impossible. I just got off the phone with my ex, my oldest son will be moving in with him to go to a different school. Needless to say there were a lot of HARSH words for me, which though everyone says don’t feel guilty I can’t help but feel like a sh*t person. 
Nevertheless I will find the strength to continue on this path, and hoping with all my heart that I will one day gain the trust and love I’ve lost from those around me.
Thank you everyone, your kindness is soothing to my bruised soul.
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Everyone starts on day one. Good for you. I am also on day 1. It helps having a place like this forum to chat and stay focused on our goal.
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Indeed it does. 
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Welcome! Yep, day 1 sucks. Here’s the thing, as you start working through steps in a 12 step program or discovering yourself through therapy, there is going to be more days that suck. You will feel every bit of heartache over realizing how your actions and addiction hurt others. There will be bouts of anxiety over going to a get together where you don’t have control over if others are drinking. The best advice I can give is know your triggers and have a great support system.
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How are you feeling now Jessica
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Each day is a day and you can work on yourself and your mistakes slowly. Focus on getting you better and you will be able to then work on yourself, you can do this xx
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Welcome to the community and wish you the best on your journey ODAAT.