My first Dui , the inevitable feeling of self loathing that follows

I’m new to the group . I’m 35 . I recently got my first DUI and arrest. I don’t even know where to begin. I was in the wrong , I’m owning it . And the 13 hours I spent in jail was more than enough time to realize , I never want to drink alcohol again. I was in denial about my alcoholism. I wasn’t dependent on it every day, however when I did drink I didn’t have a shut off . I would just keep drinking . I wouldn’t always get behind the wheel , I would Uber if I really felt like I shouldn’t drive which should have been every time. I guess the lesson is it was just a matter of time before this happened. But it will never happen again . I love my friends but all they ever want to do is go to the bar . I know that I can’t ever put myself in that position again and in my heart I know I won’t. I want to come out on the other side of this a better man . Sober, motivated and dedicated to living the rest of my life in a positive way. Where I am mentally is another story . I didn’t loose my job but not being able to drive for 30 days mins before I can get a hardship license is going to be tricky to maneuver. I don’t have the funds to Uber to work every day . I’m swallowing my pride and applying for jobs close by I can bike to but still haven’t gotten any calls back yet so panic is setting in . In a nutshell I feel like the walls collapsed around me and there’s no way out. Everyone keeps saying stay focused you’ll get through this but then when I’m alone it’s extremely difficult to see that . I’m trying to find a remote job but I’m not having any luck in that department either. The past few days have really made me reflect on my life and decisions I made and have got me thinking to get closer with got , repent and beg for mercy. I’d be lying to everyone if I said just ending it all hasn’t crossed my mind. But that scares the shit out of me because I know deep down I’m a good person , who just made a really stupid mistake and now I’m dealing with the consequences of that decision. I’ll stop rambling but any advice , thoughts , words of wisdom and comfort are always appreciated. God bless everyone . I know it’s only been 5 days since my dui but I haven’t touched a single drop of alcohol since and plan to never again !


Welcome Dann! Glad you found us. There’s a ton of support and resources on this forum.

Congrats on 5 days! That’s awesome!

My first and only DUI was the kick in the ass I needed. Sure it was tough dealing with the consequences but these days, I’m extremely grateful for that incident. If it hadn’t happened, who knows how much more I would have lost (family, job, home, etc). What helped me was going to Alcoholics Anonymous. That program and this forum have been life changing.

Wishing you the best on your journey!


Welcome! I got my first and only DUI at 22 and kept drinking another 20 years. Now is the time you get to change your life.

I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m happy you are owning it and just try to move forward each day. Each day you don’t drink puts that DUI farther in your rear view mirror. Don’t give up.


Hey Dan… first off welcome. You found a great place to be. It sucks. I got a dui at 58… stupid and I should have know better. I deserved it. My only grace was I was in a different state. I can still drive where I live but I cannot get to my daughter and her my newborn grandson. A real eye opener. I did have to do an alcohol course and the lady who did my assessment said, “you will be back”. No way! Lean on this gang. We got you. ODAAT. :muscle:


Welcome. 5 days is amazing. You will no doubt see one day at a time here over and over. Stay here with us. Don’t drink today. Read the many posts here and reach out anytime.


Oh the dui shame and guilt and dread i know well. I only got 1 dui 10 years ago and still remember praying to whatever god that if i get off easy i will never drink again. Hire a good lawyer and use this as the wake up call. I continued to drink and it got progressively worse and worse. Alcoholics anonymous saved my ass. 10 outta 10 would recommend giving it a try with an open mind. Oh and visiting this place daily to keep me accountable

Keep the momentum going. All else will fall into place. This is not the end of the world but an opportunity for change


How well I know the shame of being in the criminal system and putting job and family at risk! So I can relate to the panic and the overwhelming guilt and the need to do something about all this.

Your first 5 days have been powered by fear, right? And your efforts so far have been focused on the legal and career and driving consequences, or is there more?

When I finally got permanently sober, behind my 5th DUI, I had to deal with that stuff in spades, as my conditions of release included giving a.000 breath sample each morning at the local police station and no driving whatsoever. So I complied with that and dealt with it as best I could. I stayed sober and out of jail until sentencing and stayed sober then as well.

What was more important for me was that, the day I was released after arrest and arraignment, I called my doctor and got a prescription for Antabuse, and I called a counselor I’d seen previously and started alcohol treatment sessions with her. After a month I also returned to AA.

I had to take actions to grow my sobriety and make it my first priority. Fear and compliance to avoid wicked awful consequences only got me so far. Changing my ways of thinking and doing has carried me right through today.

Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey.


How are you doing today @DannH23

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I had 2 of these before i got myself shouldve been 3 but i got away on a technicality on the first one,and if i told you the story behind the technicality you probably wouldn’t believe it ,my insurance went through the roof but has sorted its self out now as the convictions were years ago, but it is something i was gutted about,12 month ban first one 36 month the second and had to go and see a doctor before they would give me my license back the second time,i got in the local paper the with second one,the headline was “MAN CAUGHT DRINK DRIVING WHILE EATING A KEBAB”, i kid you not!!,ive looked for it on the internet but this was early late 90’s so no record of iti ,driving was very important for me as my job was miles away from my home and as you can see i didnt learn from my mistake i was young and naive,hope everything works out for you