Today is the first hard day…
Waking up and dragging, thinking about how much easier it would be to just use and get moving.
I haven’t had temptations like this yet, I’m 63 days clean, cleaner than I have ever been in 14 years and today is just a hard one.
I honestly can’t stand how I’m feeling today… and I’m not sure how to deal with it.
Relapsing is not an option, but I’m so lost on how I’m going to deal with all these feelings.
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63 days is amazing and welcome!!! So glad you reached out.
It can definitely be frustrating learning how to feel feelings and be okay with them. I continue to work on that myself and sometimes it is overwhelming. For me, learning how to be okay with feelings…those we label good or bad…has been important. Because life is feelings and they really do come and go if we let them. We won’t always be up and we won’t always be down or restless or xyz. You know? So how do we be okay with feeling feelings? For myself, sometimes it is just being where I am…taking a walk outside and seeing stuff…the sky, the trees, the gardens. Sometimes I make something…a sandwich or a smoothie or drink some water…make sure I am not hungry or thirsty. Sometimes I need a little rest. Or more of a walk. It is our reaction or non reaction to the feeling where the growth is I think. For some folks, that feeling brings them to a meeting or on here, like it did you, that is a solid reaction…reaching out. 
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Thank you sassy,
Your words are wise and they mean a lot.
This community thing is so new, never have I been the type to reach out but I am trying it, it’s hard to do when I have always felt like I have burdened or could by talking about my problems. But you guys are so welcoming, and the support from you and everyone else is inspiring.
Thank you again, I appreciate you and the time you took to reply
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You’re welcome. Getting our feelings and thoughts out…by writing here, sharing in a journal, with friends, a therapist or in meetings…always feels to me like an important part of the equation. Same thing with community support and connection of some kind. We suffer so in silence, when we can heal thru connection.
Believe me, your sharing, reaching out and being here is no burden and talking about our life and its challenges can often help it all make sense of some sort. Or at least that has been my experience. 
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Hi 
Welcome to the community it’s nice to have you with us 
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Maybe since you haven’t had temptations until now this is just a brief thing that will pass. Just go through it without using and hope the urges go away soon. Did anything change in your life or mind that could have generated the urges?
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Thanks a lot twizzle 
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Ted, thanks so much for your positive words, encouragement to stick to my sobriety, I appreciate you for it all. And actually, now since I’m out of jail and remaining sober I have many feelings, ones I seemed to have forgotten about during my using… dealing with custody with my daughter was the subject recently that had been brought up and I guess I had many more feelings so things are much harder.
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I’m so glad you brought this up. I just had my first hard day and it took 15 months of sobriety to experience such an unexplainable feeling. I did not crave a drink, any substance, any pills, etc. I just wanted to stop feeling.
I know I’m still grieving for my youngest brother who suddenly died of a heart attack, but that was two weeks ago. My hardest day was yesterday. I felt empty like life had no purpose, sad, confused and full of anxiety for all of that to stop! I made myself go to my home group that evening and share this. What a relief!
I hope all this helps, in some way.
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Hey! Welcome to TS and congrats on 2 months. There are SOOO many supportive people here, many have already responded. Hope you stick around and stay active.
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It’ll get better for you
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Delaine, I am so glad that you can relate and I’m glad that this could touch base to you. I hope you just stay strong and let your higher power take the wheel, death is a hard thing to work past, but I feel that your a strong woman and I want you to know that you are!
Thank you for reaching out to this, your words are positive and just know that I appreciate you sharing your experience with me.
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Thank you Lee, I plan on staying around and seeing what’s up, I’m super excited to have joined and see all the support! You guys are honestly amazing.
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Hello and that is huge 63 consecutive days! Congrats! I found what got me thru those hard to very very hard days was a prayer and ten things I was grateful for. (Sprinkled with white knuckles. ). Try to remember it’s 24hrs at a time.
Change what you can at that moment…ie-if your drinking something cold switch it to hot. TV on turn it off, inside go step out side. *when I did that. Ifollewed it up with 4-3-2-1 count down. Nameing 4 things I could see, 3 things I could touch, 2 things I smell, and one positive thing about myself. And repeat this until I was able to get back to the task at hand. Life.
Hang in there because you are worth it and so much more. (20+ yes clean.)
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That gave me goosebumps.
Congrats on the 20+ !!
That’s so inspiring !
I’m honestly so excited to hit my 90 days, I am proud to say I got my 60 day key tag Sunday!
Thank you, very very much!
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