So relatable, thanks for writing down your story! I lost 15 kg (around 30 pounds or so?) last year through calorie counting, but am slowly creeping up in weight since september. Every morning I say to myself: today I’m gonna eat less, but in the evening mr. Hyde is coming out. Just like with booze when I drank: today I’m not gonna drink, but around 5pm I would open up a bottle.
I don’t know why I was able to eat normal for a year and why I feel like a gremlin with food these last months 
Coincidentally I was talking to my son this morning about my struggles with food, I am starting calorie counting again. That’s the only method that helps me to see how much I eat when I give myself a loose leash.
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I totally hear you @Naomi
Isn’t it strange how that happens!? As long as I stick with my routine like 16:8 IF or walking or calorie counting it works and it feels great and to me it feels like this would never change again because ’ THIS TIME I DEFINITELY WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!’ And I really believe it.
And then slowly but steadily I start slipping and sliding again… Ummppph …
Like with alcohol for me it needs that certain moment when I know enough is enough and taking out all the tools again.
Have you tried intermittent fasting? That really worked for me as it keeps me away from snacking at night which was my biggest issue.
But like mentioned before every calorie from what ever it is, is better then one calorie out of alcohol.
So be kind to yourself 
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Yes! I was just talking to my son about IF, totally picking that up again 
On YouTube there is this channel called Luke Narwal. He reads Reddit posts about weight loss, I really liked listening to him and will pick that up again too. It’s a big motivation to hear relatable stories about dieting and weight loss. Maybe you’ll like it too 
Here I am back.
Those sugar cravings and cravings for simply all kinds of fatty carbohydrates never have left me since I posted last time.
I didn’t get back to a walking routine and suffered a lot of tiredness, sadness and lack of motivation in general. I was fine at work but in my spare time I felt lost and lazy.
Put a mask on for everyone around me so nobody really knows about my silent suffering. I knew the depression was creeping in again.
So I finally managed to open up to my Doctor and she put me on a mild medication again which I had a few years ago. It’s only a two weeks ago when I started taking them but I start to feel a bit better already.
Like they always say… Staying away from alcohol doesn’t make you life in a wonderland but it’s the only way to create your own life anyway.
So here I am! Back trying!
Have a wonderful sober and clean Sunday wherever you are.
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Welcome back. Glad to see your posts.
Thanks @tailee17 I’m more a reader here 
but more then grateful for this forum 
Hope you’re doing well too.
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