My first year on this journey ends in a sugar crash

Emotional Support
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Hi there my sober community.

Last December I made the decision to stop drinking and to develop a healthier lifestyle in general.
So December the 27th 2022 was the last time I had a drink and on New year’s Day I started a walk run walk program with my smart watch, wich went fine.
I tried to eat better, did intermittent fasting and it really worked. I lost weight. I felt better and I kept doing what I did so far until the end of March.

In March I had a little slip with some wine for dinner on a vacation. Back home of course soon I was back to old habits. Which means too much wine on too many nights on my own.

At the end of July `23 I was done with alcohol. Enough was enough. I finally know it doesn’t do any good for me and I just quit for good. I don’t miss it in my life and I will never turn back to it.
So the summer went on and I developed quite a healthy life style. I stuck with walk run walk program and I was finally able to jog 5 km wich I never did in my life and I lost weight and looked happier but I didn’t feel the way I should or at least I hoped I would feel, if that make sense.
But I just kept doing it and I felt good about it.

Then a long planned holiday to Florida came along and due to the circumstances I lost track of my eating habits and got on pause with my walking routine. But I told myself I was on holiday and I deserve to be less strict for a couple of weeks. Which was fine by me.

But as soon as I was back home the real trouble begun. Due to jetlag and being sad that the holidays were over I caved a bit. I usually would have a drink coming back to calm down and sleep but I didn’t drink this time. I turned to ice-cream and chocolate, what I didn’t do in my early days of sobriety. I thought I deserved some chocolate and sweets and ice-cream.
And it was freezing here and I couldn’t go for my long walk due to weather conditions.
And I was so tired and I couldn’t get off my sofa.
I really didn’t enjoy it to feel this lazy again.

A few days later I was back to work, wich was ok but still I had those urges and cravings for food, bad food, high on fat and carbohydrates and sugar.
I really tried to moderate but when the night comes I’ll have a sugar crash and I can’t stop.
No cravings for alcohol at all, which is great.
But I’m still not been out for a walk. And I guess I have to go back to start with running as I feel so low again.

I am 133 days alcohol free and I feel good about it.
But these sugar cravings driving me mad.
I wach all my achievements going down the sink and that makes me want to cry :cry:
I’m feeling so stupid but I can’t help myself but going in circles round and round.

Sorry for this long meaningless whine. I’m just so angry and sad.

I’m feeling a bit lost.
But: it doesn’t make me turning back to alcohol again. Never again.

Edit: almost one year later
I’m 456 days free from alcohol today but the sugar problem is still there. So here I’m back on my own thread :sweat_smile:

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Hello Anne! I’ve enjoyed watching your sober progress these past months and your story fills out the background nicely.

One thing I had to learn getting sober was that things beyond staying dry and comfortable in sobriety take time. Lots of time. And I am just as capable as the next person of sliding off into substitutes for drinking. Early on, I went nuts for AA service work. At one point I was running a website, acting as treasurer for my local group, serving as District Committee Member representing my county at the state level, coordinating and leading the meetings at the regional jail. All at the same time, against the advice of my AA friends who cautioned that just one of those roles was sufficient.

About 3 years into sobriety, I quit cigarettes. And started eating. To handle that, I started working out and then running. Then racing, then racing triathlons. So I’m no stranger to excessive behaviors. I don’t feel, though, that any thing I’ve done has put my sobriety in peril.

I’ve learned I am harder on myself, I hold myself to a higher standard and I am harsher in criticism than anyone else. I’ve learned I can be unhappy with some things in my life and still be sober. I’ve learned that my belief in the myth of eternal leisure that fueled my drinking can take years to correct.

If you are going to bed sober tonight, you’re doing it right. I am so proud of your progress, I mean you went to Florida, in a foreign country, on holiday and you stayed comfortably sober! Wow!

Blessings are showering on you :pray: today, friend.

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I understand this. On one hand we need to do whatever we can to maintain our sobriety even if it means eating all the sweets. On the other hand we don’t want to exchange one addiction for another. The only advice I can give you is for you to give yourself some love. Maybe next time you’re faced with the sugar ask yourself why you want it. Try to recognize the common situations and see if there is something different you can try. But at the same time don’t beat yourself up for eating the sugar. At this point it really is an improvement over alcohol

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Have you considered speaking with a dietician to find a more suitable substitute? I too trade alcohol for sugar, one kind of carb for another… I figure if it keeps me sober that’s cool but I am also trying to lose weight and bloat. When I’m sober and trying to change my diet I find fruits to help curb my sugar cravings. Idk, just thinking out loud here :slight_smile: and I think this is a very relatable topic, thanks for creating it

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I don’t have tonnes of wise words to be honest, but I do want to say that calories from anything in the world (apart from perhaps pure animal fat) is better than alcohol. Sweets, carbs etc all have sort of nutrients and minerals in for some good… And they don’t make you impaired. Be proud.

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Awww thank you so much for your kind words Dan.
It almost brought tears to my eyes.
It’s good to know I’m not alone.

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Thank you @VSue for your kind advice.
In the recent nights I just ate without thinking or even though I knew I shouldn’t be eating so much. But couldn’t or wouldn’t stop although I knew better.
But I never ask myself honestly why am I doing it. So I will be more aware next time and take time to think of it.
I guess I can do that!
Thank you!

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The thing is that I actually know what I have to do @NJR9876 because I did it before. I’m just out of the right lane. I tracked my intake on yazio regularly and I actually really enjoyed it and did quite ok calorie wise and nutrition wise. Just lost the plot after my holidays and can’t find my way back.
It feels so good talking about this issue on here and it is so encouraging. Start to feel stronger already.

And you’re so right @Tragicfarinelli , every calorie is better then one out of alcohol.

I’m at work right now and kind of safe here as there’s no chocolate on the table today :blush: but tonight I’ll have a close look into the mirror and will have a deep talk with myself about the next steps!

Thank you all so so much for your response.
Feeling much better!

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Thank you for starting this thread, Anne. I am struggling with the same thing myself. I have replaced the alcohol with chocolate and other junk food and I know it’s not healthy and I told myself once I reached 100 days, I would wean myself off, and oops, I’m at day 150 and I’m still grabbing for that stuff! I’ve read from others here that they slowly tackled this sort of thing a year after quitting drinking, so that is encouraging. But right now, I’m not giving up my chocolate, :face_with_hand_over_mouth: or ice cream​:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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My current loves are:

Betty’s Florentines
Lu Cinnamon biscuits
Betty’s mint fondants

This week, all were (as my besties son says when he eats) ‘destroyed’.

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I know the cravings are difficult. I have 29 days sober and first three weeks i put in about a half pound of candy per day the first 23 days. This monday i started a workout program at my local gym and ditched the sugar. I feel less tired and have more energy throuhout the day. I made an agreement with myself to have one day per week where i can have some sugar and that will be tomorrow.
Anyway i prefer to be fat rather than drunk.
I feel your struggle and pain. Keep on doing the good things. A setback is just a setback, nothing more

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The thing is that I didn’t have so much of a problem with sugar at the beginning @Pattycake so it’s a bit confusing. But you’re right, I just have to accept it and be aware of what happens in my brain.
I read a lot about mindfulness recently and I use a meditation app for sleeping.
Maybe mediation and being mindful would help with sugar cravings as well.

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Congratulations on your four weeks sober @SoberSweden. Almost a month! That’s a great achievement. And good job starting a program at the gym.
Keep on doing it!

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You’re right. Meditation and mindfulness are both important tools. Good reminder!

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Hey Anne,
So much i want to say. But first off, CONGRATULATIONS on your 133 days. Yippee!! That in itself is a HUGE win.

It’s never a meaningless whine to vent it out over here. I’ve let it out so many times on here I use to think people were tired of me. But each time I let it out I felt better. Just sharing it on her made my problems a bit lighter and less worrisome. And who knows. Maybe some else feels that way too.

I hit the sugar hard. My first few hundred days in. Real hard. But as long as my head it the pillow sober. That was ok. It took me about a year and a half before I started my no added sugar counter. Sometimes people join me on that thread. Currently off it :grimacing: I usually do pretty good when I start a counter.

So I’m on vacation now and I’m not holding back on the desserts and custards and gelatos. It’s vacation and it’s the Holidays. As soon as it’s over I’m back on the no sugar thread with a recount. I know I can do it. I done it before. I bet you can too.

There were many times during my sobriety journey that I got depressed. Or maybe just lazy. I don’t know. Not real depression like some people get. But I just didn’t feel like doing shit. Walk the dog. Maybe shower. Eat. Sleep. And stay on this app. Checking out all the threads. Especially memes and gratitude and the nature threads. And selfie threads. I knew these feelings I had would pass. Eventually. As long as I didn’t drink. And then all of a sudden a better few days come along.

133 days is a huge number. Can be frightening. Stick with us. Keep reaching out. Venting. Whining. Whatever it takes. Someone is always around. We’re never alone. I’m so happy to have you here and watch your sober journey. It seems like I’m one of the old guys around here. It’s nice to have some other mature or other vintage blood around here to relate too :hugs:. Hope you don’t mind.

I may need your help when I’m back from my vacation. Having so much sober fun right now that I am afraid it might come crashing down when I get home too. I might need your help then.

I’m just glad you’re here.
Keep up the great work.
ODAAT. That’s all we got to do.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Awww Eric, thank you so much for your lovely reply.

I know I have to be more patient with myself but that’s always been a problem here.
I start a journey enthusiastic and the progress is nice and seems easy to gain at some point, I feel safe and stable. It feels like the pass is indestructible. Then I really believe this would never change again… But guess what … It always changes and never for the better.

Stepped wrong and trapped again.
Difference this time, I kinda saw it coming. Thought I would be strong enough this time to go straight back after vacation but I wasn’t.
Well, now I know I have to try a new strategies and I have to be aware of obstacles in the future.

I’m not alone in this! We can do it together!

You have a wonderful holiday. Enjoy all the deserts and ice-cream and pastries :star_struck: English pastries are the best! And don’t forget to go to the Chippy :fries::fish:

You’re so funny :rofl:
Thanks for making me laugh finally.

Your vintage-blondie

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Day 134 alcohol free

Had some ice cream last not but not massive amount as on the nights before. So that was a win already.

Got on my scale this morning and really was a bit nervous but the scale was kind to me and didn’t show much more then the week before.
So I’m taking this as a sign :wink: that not even the battle is lost.
I’m ready to fight back now!
Been ok food wise so far today.
Focused on drinking enough today! Made a huge pot of herbal tea and I want to have it emptied by the end of the shift.

Have a great sober Sunday wherever you are.

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Hey so i understand a bit as i eat my fair bit of sweets and sugary stuff but like someone said up the page its bad but not terrible i work out more now as sober so i think as a vice its not as bad well i just tell myself after having a chocolate bar ive never ended up in police cells or estranged from a member of my family lol i think u need to give yourself a break it will settle down once you find what works best for you congratulations on sober time ADAAT :muscle:

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Thanks Chris, you’re right. Chocolate won’t do any harm except putting a few pounds on :wink:
Wish I had the motivation to turn back to my walking exercises. But I really feel a bit more settled today. Guess all this still have to do with my jetlag. I’m only back home for 10 days so my body and mind might be still trying to readjust :thinking:

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So yesterday was the first day without a chocolate and junk food bender :+1: So that’s good.
But a cold hit me over the weekend.
Walking has to wait as I had to call in sick for today.
Terrible headache and a sore throat.
Hope it’s getting better tomorrow.