Born in 1924. She’s seen a lot come and go in her lifetime.
She was my grandfather’s sister. Widowed and never had children. She ran an accounting business and was one of the few people in the family who went to college. Her husband passed a few years ago and designed buildings in the DC area.
I regret not talking to her more. Asking what things were like when she was growing up. What she thought of her brother being sent to Europe during WWII. It’s like when I was around her I didn’t know what to say. Now that she’s gone, I have a million things to ask. She loved telling stories.
Her mother, my great grandmother, lived to be 101 and was a teacher in a small schoolhouse in Virginia. I saw pics of it but never asked her anything about it. I was too concerned with hanging out with my cousins during holiday dinners. I have the same regrets there. Born in 1895. Why do we wait until it’s too late and have regrets?
I’ll be going to the home tomorrow to help move her things. She had a will but I know it’s still going to get nasty. My uncle never even visited the home or her at her house and is supposed to get half when my mom and step father did everything for her. Sometimes I think it’s better if people leave everything to charity.
I’m sorry for your loss. 99 is a great run. As far as a will, it’s a person’s final wishes regardless of who did what and that’s important to remember.
This will be a test for your sobriety, work extra hard on your sobriety, reach out here or to other people that can help you during a difficult time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My Gramma was born in 1927 and the things that have changed during their time in earth is truly incredible!
When we have a loss, we often have those thoughts my Gramma calls the, “Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda’s” where we think we should have done things differently. This is very natural. Try not to beat yourself up over them though, we really can’t change the past and dwelling on the things I should have done keeps me sick. What I like to do is ask myself where I can be more present and live my life differently now to not have more of those same regrets later on. My Gramma lays in bed wide awake each night and thinks about the things she “should” have done differently in her life, even as a child 90 years ago. Yet she doesn’t change her actions in the present moments, she just repeats those same old patterns still with other people.
In my recovery I’ve been learning to not regret my past nor wish to shut the door on it. I’m thankful I get to sleep pretty well most nights. This is an opportunity in your sobriety to build your new life and sober muscles. When my grandfather died and we had his funeral in early sobriety, that was my first really hard loss to face sober. With my sober friends I was able to get through that without a drink. I was told his memory didnt deserve to be tainted by my relapse as that’s what I’d remember most about their funeral if I drank. They were right and were there for me when I needed them most. You don’t have to do this alone.
Keep reaching out and doing what it takes to get through this sober. Again, I’m really sorry for your loss and I’ll be thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
I’m the king of regrets so that mindset will be hard to change. She was the last of her generation left in the family. It’s like an era is gone.
Mom texted me this morning and said they don’t want to bother me with helping move the things today. I really wanted to though, as some sort of closure. I dunno. She never texted back when I asked if she was sure. I also haven’t told my parents I lost my job yet so they probably think I have to work today. It’s been just over a month but I can’t bring myself to worry them again. Can’t stand hearing how my mother cries when things go wrong in our lives so I keep as much from them as I can.
@MandiH cherish the time she has left. My aunt isn’t having a funeral. Her husband didn’t want one either. Nor do I when the time comes. She’s being cremated and her ashes sent to Virginia where my uncle’s ashes are buried. This sounds awful but they’re FedExing them because it’s an 8 hour drive each way. Her husband’s family is there and will take care of the rest.
It feels like such a strange time in life. 2023 isn’t going down as the best year so far.
Just checking in on you to see how your day went and if you ended up going to help. My grandmother actually just reached out to remind me this is the exact day 5 years ago we laid my Grandfather to rest. Its not an easy time and I’m thinking of you all.
Sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing the story
Was out yesterday hill walking as part of my sobriety recovery to keep my mind clear and active, myself and my brother in law came across some WWII underground bunker that had been sealed up for nearly 70 years or so and was an unexpected find, I live in Scotland and have also grandparents part of the war. I can share the pictures and videos. As long as @moderators are happy with this
Unfortunately they went without me so I guess they could handle it. They picked out an urn and the funeral home is sending her remains to where they’ll be buried. I wanted to be a part of it, especially since there’s no funeral. Sorry about your grandfather.
@FreshPrince if you want to post pics I’d like to see them. I have some of my grandfather in WWII also. Not sure where would be a good place to post something like that if it’s allowed. My mom has most of the pics of him and my grandma from the 40s but I kept all the ones from the war.
