None of us are perfect, we’ve all had slips and relapses. It’s part of what makes us human.
Imagine your friend was going through what you’re going through, how would you speak to them? I bet you’d be really understanding and sympathetic. Give yourself some of that sympathy and understanding.
Now, think about your relapse. Be honest with yourself. Figure out what triggered it, can that be mitigated/removed in future?
What healthy coping strategies can you utilise instead of acting out?
From an outside perspective, it seems like you’re really focusing on counting up the days and that’s fine, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done that before, but the risk of putting everything on how many days you’ve been sober is that if/when you have a slip, it’s likely to lead to more of a spiral and more acting out. It’s a tricky one, I get it, it’s a real double edged sword because it does make you feel good when you get to the higher numbers, but I think it’s definitely important not to make it all about your “streak” if that makes sense?
Thank you I have thoroughly read your comment and it’s enlightening I think I made it more about the days that I forgot for a minute the improvement I have made over the past weeks. Like you said we are humans we make mistakes perfection isn’t the goal but progression
And what I’m going to stay sober is coming back here to update daily, read the daily meditation, do outreach, read the Bible, read the Quran, and yes I’m both Muslim and Christian if that make sense my higher power is to God almighty and to Allah and its Prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him (PBUH)
Just in your own head I know how that feels like I’m also going through that except my girlfriend is coming today and I desperately want to have intense sex with her all through the night it’s all I could think about I’m i turning to a sex addict? It’s funny because all through January to October 2025 I never had a sex not even a physical kiss all I had was porn and masturbation as close companion then I broke out from that addicted cycle to experience physical intimacy and been in a relationship let me know the extend to which this addiction was eating me up
I just had a relapse making it twice in a week in two week have relapse twice which is very concerning my problem is dating apps I’m getting back to the app for some reason im open to be held accountable please I need help to navigate one week and 2 weeks please
Hey brother, may I ask what your plan for recovery is? Rather than just counting the days since your last relapse start considering the positive and healthy things that you are going to substitute into your life so that you have less reason to act out. Addiction slowly isolates us until our only friend is the drug or the acting out. So, the opposite of that is community and building up ourselves so that we believe we can create a life worth living. What can you do to ensure that you’re living a life your proud of ?tell us less about your number of days and tell us what steps you’retaking to find a new and healthy way to cope with the inevitable difficulties of life?
I just woke up and wanted to engaged on my addictive cycle I did relapse on calling random numbers it goes to show the extent on which this addiction is climbing back in
I think what @Mtrav0040 is trying to say is that if all you do is count the number of days you’ve managed to go without acting out, that isn’t going to work long term.
If I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, it’s really hard not to think about a pink elephant. Similarly, if everyday you’re just trying to not act out, it’s really hard not to act out.
I believe that a massive part of recovery is filling our lives with good, wholesome things that minimise the feelings that lead us to acting out. Connecting with people, learning new skills, being creative, getting outside and being in nature, practicing gratitude, meditating… it’s different for everyone, but definitely something to think about rather simply counting days.
Have you worked your 3 circles? Have you got a good number of things in your outer circle? Is it worth revisiting? I know I am overdue another look at my circles - it’s not something that you do once and forget, you can go back and add bits, move bits, review how it’s been working for your recovery..
