I think I’m going to post this in the main room too but I had an amazing day: took the kids to the park again, went to the doctor and got my full month of meds so I don’t have to worry about that part anymore, did some grocery shopping, witnessed an impromptu firework show, and now I’m about to clean up a bit more to continue getting my house together.
My issue is I’m almost done with day 3 and I’ve been having awful cravings. I have been trying to keep myself distracted that’s why I’m about to clean up but I keep thinking and wanting a drink. Ugh I don’t know what to do!!!
Lots of great people over there. Sometimes we go over there and work our gratitude muscles if some craving come on. We got so much to be grateful for when we aren’t drinking. Like my kids. And my grandchildren. Benson sitting on my lap. (My dog.) I’ve actually retrained my brain by doing gratitude every morning it keeps a lot of us sober.
I think we have an opening if you want to join us. The lights are always on.
Thank you for that I will check it out for sure.
I’ve been working on not letting anything get to me and staying positive about everything to avoid triggers and I’m actually very happy right now it’s just these pesky cravings getting to me today. I also think my bp is up today for some reason so there’s that too.
I started having bp issues when I gained weight from drinking so I’m hoping as I drop the booze and points that my bp will stop being a problem….
My blood pressure’s improved significantly since I quit drinking. Not over night mind you. But eventually it’s gotten so much better. And now with all the meditation and Mantras I’m learning it’s getting even better. And I found it easier to loose and maintain weight loss.
I’m glad your here.
I’m grateful for all the benefits I get from being sober.
Hey everyone so last night to avoid drinking and stop thinking about it I think I over did it with the cleaning lol!!!
So I decided to focus on my downstairs area which includes getting all the toys out the living room, cleaned the half bathroom top to bottom, moved the sofas and swept under them and took off all the cushions and cleaned under them and since my sofa is leather I whip them down, swept the entire floor including the kitchen and mopped.
Whew I didn’t get To bed until after 3am so naturally I’m super tired this morning but my husband comes home today and my kids are up so we are gonna do the park thing and then I can finish cleaning.
I feel so awful about how badly I let my house go while drinking it was awful. But I’m getting it together……
That’s a worthwhile distraction! I was very much the same in my early days, I also tended to let my house go and when the fog of drunken days cleared it was embarrassing how dirty things had gotten. I hope you can enjoy your lovely clean space! It is definitely a good idea to have a plan for how to curb cravings and to focus on recovery work. Have you ever tried writing in a journal? Or reading “Quit Lit?” There are plenty of really great books out there. Some are more memoir style, some more educational/instructional self help style. Here’s a link to some books that you might want to check out.
Way to stay strong and keep distracted Danielle! I too know how things didn’t get done or were neglected during my drunken days. Grateful that you are able to do this now and also use it to distract yourself from the cravings.
Have a wonderful day – do try to get some rest if possible (do not want to wear yourself out)
I’m laughing over here.
Whatever it takes to a stay sober.
I remember early on I was cleaning the toilets before bed at 11 pm. Might as well do the sinks. And counter. And tub…… I wish I had some of that newly sober energy back. But I never want to start over again. Enjoy your clean house. I hope you had fun at the park.
Y’all I just got into it with my husband for the first time since I been sober and now I’m itching for a drink badly.
Me and the kids are about to go thrifting to look for home decor stuff and I was talking to my husband on the phone about random stuff because he was/is a on the road driver so basically he got a new job that will allow him to be home everyday after work instead of me only seeing him once a week or every other week. He has one more load with him to be delivered on Monday then he is done but right now he is headed home.
Anyway he talked about going to his old job to basically steal gas because with his current job he has to pay for fuel so every time he came home he went by his old job to fill up to save money which was ok at first. However they put up cameras that my husband saw the last time he was there and said he was not going to get gas from them anymore to avoid getting caught or in trouble. But now since he is on his last run he talking about going there before he comes home to put enough gas in his truck so he won’t have to pay for anymore gas before he turns in his truck and I did not agree with him doing it because of the cameras and he got mad at me because I told him even though no one is there they can get motion alerts and call the police. He kept making up excuses about how he will be quick and that they won’t see him pumping the gas and so on and I told him I don’t think it’s safe and mentioned the police again and what could happen and he got mad at me for not agreeing with him!!!
I know this is long but I’m just thinking about his safety and freedom and what could happen and he just mad saying I’m not supporting him and I’m jinxing him by mentioning the police and so on.
Then he was like well fine I’ll put about 200 in the truck and my check going to only be so and so like he blaming me for him not going to steal gas and it made me so mad that I was like nope nope nope I’m not doing this and I hung up.
So now he will be home in a couple hours and I don’t want to even see him sober and I just want a drink to deal with him after this and I hate this.
Sorry this is so long but I really want drink and I’m trying not to do it but how do I deal with him sober after this?!
Oh love - that is a stressful conversation for sure
Drinking will numb you temporarily but will leave you feeling like shit
Grab the kids and go thrifting. Have some fun and try to forget the convo. Seems like he’s made his mind up and he knows the consequences.
One thing I’ve learned is that we can only be responsible for our own actions.
So - go have a great time out. Maybe some ice cream for you and the kids
Hopefully he won’t bring it up when he gets home.
We are here if you need to talk some more or you could jump on an on line meeting before thrifting.
I have had my share of arguments with my wife where I wanted to drink as a result, because that is always what I did in the past. Now, I take a time out. Whether its a walk outside or a 15 min break alone in the bathroom.
During that time, I think about why I am upset, not replaying the agreement or incident, but really thinking about what about it made me upset. That usually gives me some good talking points for later if we want to revisit the issue.
When I want to just drink it away, I play the tape all the way through to the end. How will the night end if I drink? How will the morning go? How will I feel, physically, mentally? What about the rest of the day? Is it really worth it? That’s usually enough to quash any further urge to drink.
I remind myself that my actions has consequences that reach beyond myself. My kids, my spouse are affected by my actions so I should choose them carefully. I think that is something your husband needs to understand too, is a couple hundred in gas worth being arrested? How would that effect you and your kids? Even if he doesn’t get caught, is that something he’d want his kids growing up thinking that it’s ok to do? I think that it’s worth talking about, but maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon when emotions settle down.
We just got done thrifting and found stone great stuff and the kids are very happy I got them a Kitchen, I found an amazing air fryer insane it’s over 200 in the store and online and I paid 19.99, and a few other cool toys for the kids. We are just about to pull off to go home and he text me to tell me he is home and working on getting his stuff out the truck. I’m going to take a deep breath and hopefully he let it go when I get there.
He did comment saying the house looks good from my cleanathon………
I just really don’t want the stress and I want to continue working on my sobriety and not arguing over if he is going to steal gas or not and then try to blame me for having to spend money on gas if he doesn’t steal it so yeah……
Hey sweetheart - i’m grateful that you and the kids had a great time at the thrift store.
Yeah to hubby noticing all your hard work in cleaning the house. I do hope that the topic the two of enjoy the homecoming and can table this conversation till you are both ready to discuss it.
HELL YEAH! This is the key my friend. Way to stay connected to your sobriety. We are here with you my friend.
Can I just say that I’m really enjoying reading your journey on here @Daniellegurl. I think you are doing amazing! I bet the kids are loving having you 100% lucid and there. As you type I can see you slowly growing stronger. This journey is hard, I’m so honoured to be on it with you. Please keep posting here, it’s inspirational. Thank you!
So yesterday after we got to my husband and started helping him get his stuff out of his truck which I realized was a lot since he was basically living in that truck for the past 4 months. Anyway he didn’t bring up the argument at all so that was good.
We talked about me and the kids going with him tomorrow to drop off his last load. We love in Jacksonville and he has to drop off in Daytona and I was thinking that if we do go with him maybe I can convince him to stop by Daytona beach before we come home because I’ve never been there even though it’s only about 90ish minutes from us so we could make a day of it as a send off to his on the road life so we will see.
Oh also I went to the store the one I use to always go to and the guy there knows me well since I always got my drinks from there and I took the kids inside with me which I normally didn’t before but I told him I was sober now and he asked how long and I told him I was almost at day 5 and he thought that was really good and promised not to sell me any alcohol which I thought was very nice of him to care.
Lastly I ordered pizza and I fixed myself a salad with salmon, cleaned the kids new kitchen, changed the sheets and by then my husband and youngest daughter had fell asleep followed by my 4 year old and I actually put them in their own beds instead of them sleeping with us (even though the youngest came running in our room around 4am) and I dug out their baby monitor them I passed out I was so tired.
I’m still very sleepy today because my youngest woke up around 7:30 AM and had to drink some coffee just to wake up. As I’m typing this I’m in the kids room about to finish cleaning it up so I can put their kitchen in here then I’m headed downstairs to cook breakfast since my husband is home and today I plan on just helping him unpack, clean, play with the kids, and cook an amazing homecoming dinner.
Its been stressful at times but I keep reminding myself nothing is worth messing up my progress and I’ve been smiling more and just genuinely happy. I can feel myself starting to lose weight and I can also feel some of the issues I was having clear up. For example I never told anyone but I was losing feeling in the back of my toes so I knew I was close to being diabetic or already there or it could have just been drinking all those sweet alcoholic drinks but either way the feeling is coming back and I’m just so happy!!!
I really want to thank everyone on this thread for all your support and for listening/reading all my posts and interacting with me and helping me on my journey. You have no idea how much it means to me to have this level of support and just for people to listen to my rants lol.
Ok let me get to cleaning this room so I can start making breakfast. I’m sure I will post again later.
These are my babies my oldest is Serenity but we call her Reni and she calls herself Re-Re and my youngest is Brooke but we call her Cookie or Cook. This was taken at the start of my sober journey when I took them to Chuck E. Cheese last week. I just wanted to put some faces to my family
over here.
