My last drink

So I’ve admitted I’m an alcoholic to my sister, dad, and my best friend. I’m addicted to the Budweiser strawberry Rita’s. I can drink up to 8-10 cans of the 16oz a day. I have to stop and I’ve tried to hide it from everyone but it’s getting harder each day. I’ve gained weight, I can’t care for my kids like I used to because I’m always tired or have to have a drink with me everywhere I go. I hit a dead end. So as I’m typing this I’m sitting in the bathroom about to shower (edited to remove content about drinking) start my sobriety. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to and I’m scared of possible withdrawals. So I’m here and looking for a support system. I’m sick and tired of being like this and I want to get back to the real me. So hi everyone I’m Danielle and I’m an alcoholic………

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Hi! I am so glad to hear you are starting your sober journey. I think the best thing you could do is schedule an appointment with your doctor and explain you alcohol consumption history so they can help you make a plan.

If that is not an option, then I would advise you to monitor your blood pressure and go to the hospital if you start to get the shakes or hallucinate. Most people dont have any of these issues when detoxing but they are a possible.

Also write down how you feel right now and why you want to quit! When you think about picking up again read what you wrote!

You can also seek out AA, celebrate recovery, or an outpatient program for addicts.

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The fear of withdrawal has kept many alcoholics drunk. It’s a very scary prospect and depending on how long and with what frequency you have been having 8-10 16 oz cans a day you may experience some pretty bad symptoms. Talking to a doctor would be helpful. Your blood pressure may get pretty high, and you’ll probably have some nasty anxiety and nausea. I doubt you’ll have to worry about seizures or DT’s but your doctor may recommend a tapering regiment. Good luck in your journey. You got this.

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Welcome, Danielle. I think you’ll find a lot of support and encouragement here. Take the time to read around here and see what you find useful. Some threads I find very helpful are….

Checking In Daily To Maintain Focus
Daily Gratitude , The Air of Recovery

I wish you well with your health and journey :pray:

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Danielle I have a very similar story to yours! Well done on excepting your alcoholism. This is going to be an interesting journey for you. You may relapse you may not. Forgive yourself if you do and say WELL DONE when you don’t, it allows you to build your self esteem. ONE DAY AT A TIME! You probably feel more like you don’t have anyone “close” to talk to about what’s going on but you do have others to talk to, you just haven’t met them yet!! Get to an AA meeting or recovery Dharma, write on here, vent and read other peoples stories! Find your support network and look forward to meeting new people that will be able to sympathise and empathise with you.Take your time with all this. Reflect on things when youre clear of mind. Good luck! Stay safe!

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How is Day 1 going so far?

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You have come to the right place. Loads of love and support in this community - great advice and no judgment. You are among peers struggling with similar issues. Welcome to the community Danielle

Quitting addiction is so hard our bodies have gotten used to this chemical and it will spin many stories as to why it needs that drink to survive – IT really DOESN’T. Our minds have used it to numb ourselves - hide away and the more guilt / shame we feel the stronger the urges for drinking become. For this reason alone (the battle against ourselves) we are unable to quit alone. We do need a support system and a way to stay accountable. The beginning will be hard. Make sure to drink plenty of water today - hydration is key when you are on day 1. Need to flush out all the toxins.

You are strong enough to turn around your life and be addiction free. Possibly try to attend some in real life meeting(s) and also have a list of on line meetings available for when the urges are strong. A sponsor might be helpful if you are unable to talk to anyone at home about your addiction. Be proud of yourself for admitting the struggle and doing something about it.

So much to read here - take your time to search through the threads and jump in when you feel comfortable. This site is active 247 so someone is always around. Hope to see you around :hug:

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@Daniellegurl im so proud of you for admitting this struggle to your family, that takes a lot of courage!! and it’s an enormous step towards sobriety. this forum is amazing and is helping so many of us who require a community of understanding and well-experienced folks. welcome! i am on my second week of sobriety after a decade of alcohol abuse - I also have a son and just like you it was crucial for me to recognize that I couldn’t care for him as well as I could without the poisonous stuff. not only do WE deserve better, but our kids truly do. you are absolutely headed in the right direction and I’m really proud of you - and I’m with you! we all are. addiction can feel like the most isolating thing in the world, just alone in our own disgusting nightmare, until we realize that we are in this together. the dark depths of active addiction is something we’ve all experienced, and now sobriety is a reality we are all striving for and practicing, each and every day, sometimes each and every moment! here on this forum as well as in person meetings, and any other way we can connect with real human support to deepen our practice, is essential for getting thru the tough times sober. i guarantee that the difficulty of working thru the challenging times without turning back to the awful poison is 100% worth it!! i believe in you. we got this!

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Welcome! You can for sure talk to us here. There are so many members that you will surely find someone who relates. Acknowledging the problem is the first step, and getting it out in the open is great! Hopefully you have put drinking in the past and can move forward in your sober life.
(Just FYI, posting on the forum while you are drinking is against the rules see here
Forum Rules and Guidelines - Announcements - Talking Sober - Addiction Recovery Forum & Support Group but since you posted 8 hours ago I guess you are sober now and will stay that way!)

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Omg thank you so much for all your amazing support and comments!!!
Well it’s almost 11am and normally I would probably have had 3 or more drinks by now and no food but I’m working on eating something and I have water and no drinks in the house. My plan today is to keep everyone updated and take it minute by minute hour by hour. I’m not going to go to the store so I asked my husband to go for me so I won’t be tempted. So far I’m feeling pretty good I think. I’m just laying down for a bit with my kids and trying to focus on them. I plan to try to keep myself busy by cleaning my home, finally taking my kids outside without a drink in my hand, and just do it. I’m excited and I’m clear of mind. I’m sorry about posting my initial post while still drinking but I felt it was needed and my honesty. I have not told my husband but I know he already knew I had a problem but I’m just bout ready to tell him just yet I just want to show him.

I’m not able to go to any AA meetings because my kids are young and I’m a stay at home mom without childcare. I’m just so happy to have so much support here and I hope to make a great support system on here

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You can join an online AA meeting too.
Congratulations on day 1!
I’m glad you’re here! :people_hugging::heartbeat:

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Very glad you’re here Danielle. Seems to me you’ve thought about this well. Hang in there! Early on it can be a rocky ride at times.

You are absolutely right that we need a support system. This place right here and the folks in it has been my no. 1 support group for the past 4 + years. Hope it will be for you too friend.

As for meetings, they may be helpful too. Need all the help we can get! Plenty of online ones around. I know there’s a 24/7 women only one that’s pretty popular with ladies here. Maybe one of them has the address?

Wishing you all luck on your sober journey. Congrats on taking the best decision you can make at this time in your life. We’re in this together friend.

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Yes if someone has the online information for the meetings that will be great. I hope I’m not going into withdrawals I’m feeling hot and a little shaky. I was cleaning up a bit while the kids are in the tub so now I’m laying down for a minute. My husband is on his way home so I gotta get it together before he gets here.

Whew day one smh……
I keep asking myself how I allowed myself to get to this point. It started with just a few cans here and there then It went to everyday and the next thing I knew I was going to the store everyday getting two 4 packs or when I went to Publix I would get the 24oz cans and get like 4 or 6 of them.
I was not really eating much of anything but still gaining weight. It happened a few months after I had my last baby two years ago and just spiraled out of control.

Ugh I don’t know I just really want to get to day 5 and if I can get there with no drink then i know I can make it

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you can do it!!

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Tons of online meetings found there. Including women’s only AA. Success!

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How are you doing? Were you able to find a on line meeting to join?

Just grateful that you are here with us and working on your sobriety. Try not to worry about weight gain (i know it’s hard) – just focus on being sober. The weight will fall off as you stop with the empty calories and sugar consumption (so much sugar in one can).

we are stronger together - lean on us when you feel the urges – you can type “help” on the check in thread and someone will be around to help you.

Checking in daily to maintain focus #58

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@Daniellegurl Welcome! How are you doing? You’ve come to the right place. There is so much support and advice here. There is always someone online to provide you support so if you feel like you’re struggling check in here. :heart:

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Hey everyone I’m actually doing pretty good so far. I did find some online meetings that I can attend so I’m looking forward to it.

So I reached 24 hours sober and I slept like a log oh man!!!
I’m still tired but my babies just woke up so I have to be up right now but I’m happy actually.
For the first time I don’t feel hungover when I wake up. I don’t feel hungry or hungry and overly full at the same time. I actually ate dinner last night for the first time in so long instead of drinking my dinner!!!
I actually slept.
I don’t feel 100% but I also don’t feel like myself yet but I know it’s going to take more than one day to get back to that point but I’m ok.
I know I’m probably rambling right about now but I’ve haven’t woken up sober in so long that I’m just happy I did it and I’m ready to do it again today.
My only worry is that I have to go to the store to pick up my medicine and to get a couple things for the kids and I don’t want to be tempted because I haven’t been out the house without a drink in so long let alone in a store without buying it or driven without it. So yeah I’m terrified but I have to go ugh………

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CONGRATS on making it 24 hours and waking up feeling so well! it really is a ODAAT journey and you are crushing it for sure. SO grateful that you did find some online meetings are planning to attend.

For me - i tried to shop for groceries in stores or markets that did not have alcohol. If this is not possible as you have to pick up medicine. You will need your ID for the pick up - can you pick up meds (the pharmacy is usually apart from the grocery / alcohol section - at least for us) - then drop off the meds in car along with your ID so that you will not be able to purchase any alcohol?

For this reason I also only got gas from Sams / Costco or paid at the pump at other stations so I would not be temped when I went inside.

We are always active here - so reach out if you feel strong urges on your outing. Doing great Danielle - keep strong :muscle:

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That’s good idea about putting my id back in the car after I get my meds.

I’m also scared because I have to drive past all the stores that I normally stop at to grab a Rita. I always stopped even if I had a bunch of them I knew it would never be enough.

I’m just going to try not to think about it and go get my meds and the drinks for the kids and then I really want to take them to the park. I’m also debating on just coming home so I won’t be around any stores.

The problem is I can’t punish my kids for my illness either because they have suffered enough. I just wish every store didn’t sell that damn drink that had a hold on me for the past years smh……

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