This is a long one! 54 years old and drinking a lot for 25 years. much more i n the last ten and much much more in the last three. I’ve reset the day counter a lot this year and on day 4 again. I wrote this list to myself last night. Reasons to quit drinking: Spending too much money on beer. feeling shitty monday mornings. rough days at work after drinking night before. doing stupid things in my basement shop. Not remembering stupid things I’ve done the night before till I walk in shop and see it. Not remembering conversations with my wife and she calls me out on it and says, “if you weren’t so drunk”. stupid arguments that really were my fault because i was drinking and not able to think or speak properly. Heart problems and drinking on my blood pressure meds. weight gain from thousands of extra calories a week in beer. Risky driving to go get a few more beers at the corner gas station. Embarrasing moments of slurred speech with the same cashiers at the corner gas station then remembering it the next day. Cop was aat gas station in his car doing something and I got out of my car and walked in b ought beer and walked by him to my car while a little buzzed and he could have questioned me. Eating more food when drinking. Hit my head a year and a half ago, had bloody scab and scar for weeks at work. face planted and hit my nose on headboard…more blood and cut skin. hit doorframe in front of wife, fell into wall in middle of night, wife saw mark on wall and THEN i remembered falling. Thyroid test failed (high). Throat hurt last weekend after 350 ml of whiskey and some beer. slumped over last weekend spilled beer on pants. fell saleep in the hot tub thankfully timer shut it off in 30 minutes. Risky backyard firepit stuff being careless with fire. Not taking care of things around house. Anxiety in the middle of the night sunday before work thinking I wont make it through monday. Heart palpitations. Social media posts while drunk. No interest in hobbies anymore. Forgetting everything i watched on tv the night before while drinking. Not sleeping well. Thinking this will kill me early in life.
That’s a big laundry list
Add this to your list.
- knowing the problem
- wanting to get sober and stay sober
- no new scars
Welcome. Keep coming back
Yea that’s a lot of good reasons, I can see myself in some of them. I’ll share a few of mine now but I don’t even have the time to share all, would take hours.
-Getting weak physically and losing all my muscle that I’ve trained hard for in just a few days of using drugs
-getting into hospital/closed psychiatric ward because of drug induced delirium/psychotic rage, getting tied to the bed 3 times out of the 5 hospitalisations
-scars because I was fighting police, tried to get out of handcuffs
-tooth broken because I was fighting police on drugs like PCP
-scared and got naked in public and inappropriately touched friends who had to call ambulance because I was on a PCP-derivate
-police got called on me by neighbor because I was naked at home breaking things including the bottle that a friend of us had last drank from before he died (that bottle was important to my roommate she is his girlfriend when he died)
-feeling like I’m missing out on life because I isolated myself in drug usage, not being able to talk to People or wanting to talk, little connection with new People
-feeling like there’s holes in my brain, or feeling like parts of my brain have died for hours, not knowing whether I’d get back to normal
-obsessing about when I can get high the next time and how it’s gonna feel like
-pimples, and wrinkles even though I should be too young to get wrinkles in my face (I’m 21)
-not eating properly
-feeling frustrated because some of my peers are able to be happy, get work or go to university, have a relationship, exercise and become stronger while I become skinny, dumb, ugly by using drugs
-nose, throat, tooth and head pain from snorting drugs
-mouth, throat, lung pain from smoking weed
-stomach pain and acid reflux from doing too many pills, throwing up (threw up in a bus twice, once an ambulance was called because I looked so horrible after throwing up in a bus, I had taken 30 pills of dxm that day, on some days I took up to 45 pills of dxm and dph/dmh diphenhydramine/dimenhydrinate. The way my stomach felt after that was concerning)
-bladder problems which also connect to kidney problems, up to a point where I had a sharp pain when peeing, and peeing blood, had bladder infection for a few days. This pain was right in the tip of my genitalia, I was scared everytime I had to pee, the drugs I had been taking up to that point all connected to bladder problems. Sober it got better but after relapsing my bladder got extremely weak again and it may take more than a sober week to get back to normal
-losing memories of days up to a week because of benzos
-a restlessness and feelings of being uneasy because I’m either waiting for drugs or I’m sober and no clue what to do with myself
-desperation to get more drugs, even working as prostitute to get drugs as fast as possible, leading to a weird mental reaction to doing these things
-no being able to enjoy being at home when I had no money or drugs
-losing interest in drawing or writing. Until I was 14 I was writing a lot, even published one book of the 3 I wrote plus many short stories but since starting to use daily at 14 I rarely wrote another story.
-not being able to speak properly to People I like or want to get to know
-scared of dying addicted when there is so much potential for having a fulfilled beautiful life, instead of the suffering of drug addiction
-threatened to stab someone because I got delusional on drugs
-muscles getting so weak, that I got a tore ligament
-not being able to sleep because of drugs but also too come down to do anything, just laying there, feeling sick, and smoking weed until my throat and lungs give clear signals that it’s too much
-using drugs even if my body gives me clear signals that it’s too much
-heart beating way too fast, weird rythm of heart, sometimes missing a beat
-feeling like I get eaten out from the inside
-losing all fluids no matter how much I drink
-losing up to 15 kg of body weight in less than a week
-problems with blood/oxygen circulation, falling down, getting colours/black vision for a few moments
-fear of getting cancer especially from smoking weed
-being demotivated especially the day after using, just laying in bed doing nothing for hours
-too little oxygen when doing nitrous, blue lips
-sadness
I often write down my positive reasons to stay sober but this negative kind of list feels good too. I’m on day 2 now and determined to stay clean today
Fantastic I’m on day 3, this is good, and I can relate, let’s stay sober for another day 
Wow thank you for sharing that. There were quite a few things in your list that also happened to me. I dont draw anymore…had some time strapped to a bed in psych ward but for being psychotic without alcohol. Even fought with sheriffs who were at the hospital for security. Crazy times. Thanks again for sharing all that.
It’s good to know that there are similarities in all our stories of addiction. Because tha means the People who got out of it went through the exact same things and made it out alive.
Can I ask you why you don’t draw anymore? I love drawing I draw nearly everyday even when I did drugs daily but I came to the realisation that I draw more and better sober.
When I have no desire to draw, I force myself to draw just one line or circle and leave it for the day. But then I never stop then because once I start I wanna do more xD
Thank you!
I used to draw a lot of technical drawings on the computer but spending all my free time drinking made it impossible to get anything done.
Oh my gosh. This is me exactly. Wife, work, boldness in driving, can’t remember next day. Me exactly, it’s almost like it’s ghost written by me and I don’t remember. Everything to a tee, except I’m 56. But to the minute accurate on drinking history, been drinking last 20 years, much more in last 10. And much, much, much more in last 3. Thank you for sharing this.
This is my first time to post, I’ve had the app for over 2 years and reset probably 200 times. I’ve got to do something different, any help anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated. I’m determined to make it last this time. I’m inspired by all those that have. Thank you.
A great age to get sober!!! It is when I did!!! 
Got any tips?
Yes, I do… 
…here is a link to some tips…
And here is a link to some of what my process included…take what you want and ignore the rest…
thank you! 
Hey, @Breezy68 @Zainter @SassyRocks
I’m a 55 year old ex beer drinker, so SAME. Quit (this time) at 53. You can do it, too! I am right here with you.
Yeah reading something where someone else went through the same thing rrally helps me through the day.
Thanks you!!
I couldn’t have said it better myself I feel like we’re related or something good job on the four days. Keep it going. Once you get over the hump, you will feel a lot better!
My four days turned into 6 days tonight. Looking forward to the first full week sober in a while.
I reset a lot this past year but now im finishing day 6. Thanks for the comments hope you keep going as well.