My Name Is Cameron, And

Relapses
1

So, it happened. A little more than two weeks in give or take (I stopped looking to be honest) I drank. And I have until earlier tonight. Had a few beers with my dad (3) and just lost the taste. First thought was to come on here.

I can’t think of any reason that I can give that I wish was good. No death in my family; my wife or kids didn’t leave; didn’t lose a job. I just gave in. I fucked up. Plain and simple.

I don’t make a habit out of reading my posts before, but if I didn’t say it already, I’m a binge drinker. Never have drank every day, but when I do, it’s off to the races.

I don’t want sympathy and I don’t have a woes me story. Save money lost, nothing bad happened other than losing my momentum towards sobriety. That’s god-damned lucky compared to some.

Maybe I was wrong. A support group, other than here is in order. I’ll deal with that tomorrow, as it’s 11:23pm EST. I just wanted to be honest on here to someone tonight.

To my, now former, sober twin @anon44659383, I’m sorry I can’t be that with you anymore. Thank you for helping me in my very early first sobriety and I look forward to moving on with you, just without the same date.

To the board as a whole, thank you for being here. I’ll continue to learn and move forward. And as I do, especially in the AA world I threw away so quickly earlier, I’ll certainly appreciate your help and support.

12 Likes
3

Sorry to hear about your relapse, but glad you are here! It’s hard to get yourself up and going again. But like you said: you learn and move forward! :facepunch:

6

Awww, we’re still sober twins!! I drank last night!:roll_eyes: Like you I don’t drink everyday or even week but when I do I more than make up for it and would never even consider stopping at 3. No shitty feeling led me to drink matter of fact i had a good day. I just got bored and went out.

I am going to my first AA meeting tomorrow afternoon. I can’t do this alone anymore and I’m just fed up with held hostage by alcohol.

I’m like a fungus, you can’t get rid of me😊

2 Likes
7

It’s good to see both of you considering re-evaluating your approaches to your recovery as a response to relapse. It takes a certain amount of humility to let go of how you wanted to do things before and be open to trying a different solution. Every time I relapsed, I stopped working my program, I rolled my own ineffective program, or I didn’t have one at all. I suspect that’s the case for pretty much everyone who’s entered the realm of alcoholism.

You’re back on the wagon, keep at it, and I hope whatever changes you make going forward are effective. Keep us updated :slight_smile: