The fact that you aren’t on your meds could be affecting you quite a bit. Stay the course, work your program and get after your recovery. You can do this Trevor, I’m rooting for you.
1 Like
Thanks for reaching out. It didn’t really occurred to me that I haven’t been taking them my meds for about a week. And I’ve been wondering why I feel so bad but I think a lot of it has to do with being off these meds and I took them for about a year. I’m sure the Mind Get a custom to anything. I probably will call my therapist tomorrow and see if there is any resources to get free medication. I’m definitely being stubborn. The main reason I started taking this medication is because of hallucinations related to manic episodes… thank God that hasn’t happened yet. Still waiting to hear about getting into this program. It’s 3:53 AM can’t sleep. I think it’s going to be OK. Thank you for reaching out. I’m very beside my phone as I wait for anybody to reach out because I feel so alone.
6 Likes
I’m up. It’s 3 am here (Midwest) and I work evenings so I stay up late.
3 Likes
Hey buddy, you’re not alone my friend. I’ve never been on meds so never had to come off, but I have hallucinations and that fun stuff sometimes and it can get pretty scary.
I’m proud of you for how you’re handling this all, man. Even in meds withdrawal, detox and unsure what going to happen w rehab you’re being a real fucking trooper, very admirable.
You hang in there. Can you have some tea or sth simple to eat? Grounding through the senses helps me when I get overwhelmed. So does lights out and eyes closed. Know you’re save tonight. And you’ll be ok. You will.
4 Likes
I’m about ready to face the fact that I’m probably not going to sleep tonight so I’m thinking about drinking some coffee and just listening to music on YouTube until morning comes. I keep getting out of bed because I’m freezing and then I’m hot and then I’m cold and then I’m hot. I really appreciate reaching back again. I can’t wait for this to be over. And the truth is I never have to go through this ever again. I’m starting to realize that I don’t have to relapse to learn who I am. I’m a criminal. I’m an addict I’m an alcoholic. I can be a bad person from time to time but I don’t have to repeat the same mistakes to know who I am. I lost myself recently and I’m paying for my mistakes.
5 Likes
Hi 
Definitely see if there is any support for your meds 
I hope there is some help for you.
I’m glad you came here to help not feel so alone, you are doing so well, it’s not easy what your going through but it will become easier
1 Like
Thanks for reaching back. Glad to see somebody else is staying up late as well. And thank you for the encouragement. All will be well with time
2 Likes
You definitely aren’t alone.
1 Like
Glad you made that call and stayed connected.
Hope there is a bed for you soon.
Don’t be to harsh for yourself, you are fixing things! It’s the addiction, not you.
2 Likes
I’m going to call my therapist first thing tomorrow morning. It’s weird because I’ve been through withdrawal from pills before and alcohol and never lasted this long. But then it occurred to me that I’ve been off my medication for about a week and I think this is contributing to my bad feelings. Thanks for reaching out . I’m so grateful. Thank you so much. Hope you’re doing OK. I can’t thank you enough. Also probably a good thing but I’m really hungry. I’m trying to think of what I can do that’s easy. I don’t really feel up to doing anything but I really need to try to eat. I think I have a couple cans of black beans and I think that might do the trick.
2 Likes
I was on an antidepressant and I stopped taking them and I thought I was developing rapid carpel tunnel as 6 months after taking them I had like tingling and weakness in my arms at night, when I spoke to my Dr she told me the type I was taking causes this withdrawal for months after and can come and go. I thought something was seriously wrong.
But it helped to know what to expect.
I understand where you live health care isn’t like over here so it hard for me to say just do this and that etc … as it’s not that simple but definitely call and see what they can do, I think your doing all the right stuff to help yourself and I’m so proud of you 
2 Likes
I’m sorry you went through this with your medication. But I know what you mean it does help to know what to expect. To be honest I’m not sure if I really want to go back on my medication. It’s weird because it helps with certain things but it takes a life out of me. Maybe this is some thing I can discuss with my therapist. Like medication Solved one thing but takes away five others. I don’t know though maybe I’m just mixed up. Maybe I’m just feeling a lot right now. And I don’t really know what the right decision is. I’m just trying to make it to daylight. The night time is the scariest. Whether I’m withdrawing off pills or not. The nighttime can be so long
3 Likes
This is exactly why I am in contact with my Dr today, this is exactly what I thought this morning.
I think medication is important especially for manic episodes and other mental health situations, it keeps you safe but it’s always a good idea to talk about what they are helping with and what they are not.
2 Likes
Glad you are in contact with your doctor. As I really understand what these manic episodes are like. In the past they have really got me into trouble. Sometimes I believe I’m God. Or at least I feel like that. I’m diagnosed bipolar disorder I don’t really have the Depressive episodes but I definitely have mania and hallucinations sometimes. I’ve tried quite a bit of medication’s. I’m not ready to give up on medication but I definitely need to discuss the fact that I feel like my passions for life Have been sucked out of me. And almost feeling no emotions. It’s a weird place to be. Thanks for talking to me about the things that you Are going through. It’s very cool to be able to relate
2 Likes
Thank you for reaching out and thank you for the encouraging words. That means the world to me. I’m trying so hard to remain grateful I’m trying to learn from my mistakes. So many bad things happen in a short amount of time. Every time I go back to drinking and drugs the amount of time I go back out shortens and my recovery gets longer. Hopefully this time recovery can be a lifelong thing. And to be brutally honest I’m tired of knocking on Deaths door. Say it can’t happen to me, but it can. So I’m trying to remain grateful that I’m alive right now. I know it’s going to take time but I hope that I can get my family back. My parents are giving me the tough love situation right now. I can’t blame them. And I need to see their side of things. I still feel the love. I have to keep calling about this 30 day program and I’m waiting for a bed to open up. Basically I’ll go through detox again even though I’m almost through the worst of it. Then I will be transferred to residential for 30 days. I’ve gone to detox in the hospital many times in my life but I’ve never done a inpatient program. After I left He talks about a week ago a nurse called my mom out of concern and she said I would be a good fit for this program. Right now it’s just a waiting game. Maybe one day I can work at this detox. Chasing money never really worked. Maybe I can do something meaningful with my life and share my story and help somebody else
11 Likes
So happy for you, Trevor. You definitely have your head screwed on right going into treatment.
2 Likes
Trev, how are you and how are things?
6 Likes
Damn it was a trip reading through this thread. I remember where I was at when all this happened. Had to happen a few more times unfortunately. But this is good to come back to and see where it takes me if I go back. Currently have a little over seven months and working really hard at my recovery. This was really cool to read through this thread and reread everything that was suggested or happened. Damn I’m grateful. I remember that detox specifically. I remember not taking suggestions and learning the hard way. I remember everything. I’m glad I never deleted my account
11 Likes
So glad you find reviewing your posts rewarding. Funny I was here last year returned in February 2024. I was reading around and wanted to click on a post I liked and couldn’t. I was the author … didn’t recognize me but still agreed with the post. Haha
3 Likes
That is pretty funny. Funny in a good way. I have similar situation where I run into old stuff and I’m like oh wow!! Eventually I’m going to dive even farther back with my journey on this platform. If I remember correctly one of my original post from when I first joined it was me being like I’m drinking 20 drinks a day and withdrawing really bad what should I do? In so many words. Of course I needed to go to the hospital But for the longest time I was hoping somebody would tell me some bs of how to beat this Without really doing any work. I used to hear a lot of people say things on here and I was like F that. Took a lot of mistakes over the years to learn otherwise. Or changing from opiates to alcohol like I can’t control that but maybe I can control the other.This place for me and I’m sure a lot of people it’s like a cool time capsule. Very grateful
7 Likes