Me toooo! 
Grateful for you sharing your journey and supporting mine in the process.
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Thank you so much. We’re in this together! Very grateful for this community to say the least
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October 5 2024
222 days sober
Was going to create a thread to track my thoughts and progress with sobriety but came across this old thread of mine originally created 2 years ago. This is as best a place as anything to continue on and have a better perspective then the original thread.
A little over 7 months sober. Sober from all mind altering substances and yes that includes weed. I say that last part because for me weed was always the first thing I did on a relapse and it started the obsession for other things. But that’s my story.
Life is going pretty good. I’m staying busy with my commitments with AA. Working full time as a dishwasher… which is the perfect job for early recovery. I’m completing the terms of my probation by paying monthly restitution, going to my counseling and probation appointments. I ride my bike a lot. I’m staying busy so my mind has no time to get in the way.
I guess the only thing I’m struggling with but at the same time I’m not is that I’m not use to being stable and doing good. Feeling happy is weird sometimes because it’s new. I normally have a life of chaos and moving around/ starting over and over. I guess I’m learning to be ok with being ok.
My plan for this first year this time around was mainly to keep it simple and mainly focus on learning to be sober and productive. Yes there is some things I want right away or right now but that’s my addict brain wanting to take hold. Maybe after year 1 will be the GED test and looking into career opinions. I definitely have goals but for now I want to keep things simple and not over load my plate. I know life will only continue to get better. I have zero desire to use or drink which is a blessing. But I guarantee if I stop doing what I’m doing I probably would.
I’m very grateful for this community and all the wonderful people bettering there life and the support and love I feel on here. It’s also been cool to look back on my mistakes on here and even the times I did good. This place is definitely really cool.
Will be checking in periodically on this thread about anything that might be on my mind and to have something to go back to in the future and see how things unfolded. There’s only one way and that’s forward. Sober from all mind altering substances.
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So proud of you man. When i came to these threads you were homeless in addiction and not stable. So proud of all youve done one day at a time. I can relate to the unease when finally feeling “ok” it was like well when does the other shoe drop but thats future tripping. Take joy in the present and know your efforts have gotten you this far
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Thank you so much. In the last five years I’ve had many Homeless chapters. It was always my choice. I always had somewhere to go but I wanted to sleep In parks and abandoned buildings, Rooftops and so forth. I didn’t want to be found. I didn’t want responsibility. I thought that was the life I deserved and when I got a little taste of happiness And Stability I didn’t really know how to handle it. These feelings are going to take time to overcome. That I deserve better than that. And I can repair the damage I’ve caused. Sometimes it is like that wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. But it only will if I stop doing the hard work and suggestions from people who have long-term sobriety. I’m very grateful for you and thankful that you share your story and progress on here because I learn so much. Also really appreciate your gratitude shares.You’ve helped probably more than you realize. As always thanks for reaching out. For real!
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Trevor.
I see so much of a difference in your recovery this time around. I’m so proud of you. It’s such a pleasure to follow your story.
I liked the part about chaos. I use to have what I thought was a normal life of chaos too. Ya think that, maybe, it was the drinking making it chaotic? I got to admit I sometimes miss the thrill of being able to handle the chaos. But you know. Now that I got a good chunk of sober time. I never want that chaos back ever again.
Take away the booze and drugs and the chaos disappears. Imagine that 
Doesn’t mean life is always going to be easy. It’s not. But it will be manageable.
I’m just so happy and proud of you man. And I can see so much growth in your shares and opening up here. You keep that shit up.
How’s Tucker?
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Thank you so much. It’s weird they say that other people see it in you before you do and I feel like that’s true. I’m very hard on myself and I’m always questioning things. I’m definitely retraining my brain. I definitely can relate to what you’re talking about. The chaos was always the normal thing. I sometimes miss My life of chaos as well but it’s very brief and I think there’s always going to be a part of me that will briefly romanticize my old life. I’m always gonna be an addict and alcoholic the devil for lack of better words is always going to try to get me back but it’s like I have a shield now. It definitely was the drugs and alcohol mostly creating the chaos but also the decisions we make when we’re living like that and the consequences. If you do something long enough that becomes normal. Just like staying sober I guess the more we do it becomes normal. Very grateful for you and your support and reaching out over the last couple years. I’ve learned a lot from you. It’s really cool to be able to relate to you and so many others on here. From Yale to jail it doesn’t matter where we came from or how we got here the feeling is the same. The drugs and alcohol stopped working it didn’t shut the noise out anymore. As far as Tucker I know he’s living the life at my parents. He’s probably walking around the house scheming up his next way to get a biscuit or a treat of some sort even though he’s probably already ate multiple times today. Probably going outside 15 times lol. I know he’s doing good. I’m actually planning on having him come over to stay the night pretty soon so that’ll be cool. 
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Welcome back Trevor! I’m new here but I just caught up on your journey! I’m glad to see that you’re 7 months sober now. Keep fighting the good fight!
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Thanks so much. Glad you’re here. This is an awesome community. I’ve been here on and off for about three years or so. I know for sure actively participating in this community this time around has greatly helped. It helps to read around on here and relate to other peoples stories or be reminded of why we’re here. Also to post regardless if it’s good or bad times. There’s a lot of Great advice on here and for me personally I’m just now hearing. Sometimes it takes what it takes. Anyway thanks for reaching out.
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227
October 10 2024
Today was good. I really have no complaints but doesn’t mean I don’t have my struggles. I been doing more self discovery and reflecting then ever before. I’m learning who I am. I still have character problems I’m working on. Earlier today I came back from getting my hair cut and was unlocking my bike when a random parking lot security guy said he was about to cut my lock and take my bike because I’m not allowed to lock it to a street sign. I know I’ve made progress because I smiled and said no problem and rode away but it took everything in me to not go back and say what I really wanted to say. I Played the tape through of the guy calling the cops on me and getting stopped a mile down the street but also realized it’s not worth my energy to react in the wrong way so I keep biking and pulled over to pray about it and get my energy right again instead of cussing him out and causing a scene. If he says I can’t do that then oh well I won’t do that again.
Another thing in my life I’m getting used to is my parents being more involved then ever before. My dad calls more then he ever has. Probably because I’m actually present and can listen and he sees I’m putting effort in. Doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting to have these conversations. Talking to me about marriage and houses and careers! That stuff is the least of my concern currently. I have short term goals and I have long-term goals. Sometimes it’s impossible to explain the difference to family. I have to realize non addicts are not always going to understand the process of recovery or keeping things simple. I also feel peoples energy very strongly and it can drain me. I have to get better with setting my boundaries or not having to explain every little thing. Or simply I’m in a quiet/ meditation mode right now but I can call you back later. I don’t have to always answer. But I do realize my family means well and I can see there side of things.
Man life is weird. Weird in a good way. I gotta stay grounded and keep things very simple. Pray, work, AA, Food, meditation, sleep. Repeat. I sincerely do not want to go back to a life of madness and insanity. Going to stay close to my higher power and stay grateful.
Thank you for Allowing me to speak freely. Or at least feel comfortable enough on here to be honest.
That’s about all for now
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ME TOO! I have always been too sensitive to actions and words said but Sober I am having to learn to stop and think before I react. I fail miserably at this skill. Yep praying is the answer. Thanks for sharing!
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Yes definitely I can relate. Sensitive is the keyword for me at least. And to stop and think before reacting I guess takes practice. People are going to say and do what they do but it doesn’t have to effect me the way it has in the past. Time can heal a lot. Thank you for reaching out. Hope you’re having a good day or night!!
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This sounds like a whole lot of good growth. I’m really happy to see you back here and I’m super happy to see you doing so well. Keep talking it out, keep learning. Well done!
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Thank you so much. It’s good to be here. Definitely going to pop in on the check-in thread occasionally as well but I figure posting on this thread will be a good way for me to track my progress and be able to look back in the future. I definitely have a lot of work to do and I definitely don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what to do but slowly I am learning what to do. If that makes sense
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I think this persists until the end. And I think life is just cooler for people who want to understand their “whys” in life. Bravo man!
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October 13 2024
230
2 months in jail and probation was the best thing that could have happened for me. Almost 8 months ago I was arrested on 2 felonies related to my alcoholism and drug addictions. I remember the day it happened walking out of the liquor store like a normal day forgetting about the crimes I had committed a month or 2 before. They had been looking for me and I was to lost to care or see the severity. I remember sitting in the back of the cop car half terrified but also relieved. I sat in jail 2 months with a 20,000 dollar bond that my parents refused to pay because they thought I would go on the run and would not be in my right frame of mind. Sitting in there for 2 months and thinking about my life and reflecting so much was what I needed. Every week they keep pushing my court date till the day finally came where they offered a plea deal of 3 years of probation to avoid possible prison or long term county. I remember being released at 11 o’clock at night with no phone, money, and no where to go but I was free and I was sober. I walked to a church that was next to a sober living house I stayed at before and I prayed practically all night and the next morning went to talk to the manager of the sober living. I didn’t have a huge speech or explanation I just asked for help and said I will put in the work. There’s a lot I won’t forget about those 2 months in jail but most of all I won’t forget being released at 11 o’clock at night terrified of what my options were or just being on the streets sober. The only option was to stay sober and put the work in. It’s been almost 8 months since that arrest and about 6 months since getting out of jail. It’s not been easy but I’m already starting to see the benefits of my recovery more then ever before. I will not use or drink no matter what. I will do what the court wants me to do. I will stay organized and motivated even when I don’t feel like it. My life depends on it. This was the wake up call I needed but I can never let my guard down. Because I’m a alcoholic and addict. For life. If I go back to my old life it’s jails institutions or death that will never change.
Very very grateful
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October 20 2024
237
Sometimes people try to tell me I’m doing too much. Whether it’s at work, or in my personal life. But what I realize is the people that tell me that aren’t doing anything. My actions make them think about their own life. There’s always going to be people that want to bring me down to their level. My grandfather always said consider the source. I think he meant when talking to somebody and they are affecting you consider who you’re talking to. This is life and death for me. I need to be doing too much. I need to be busy. I need to be utilizing every resource I can to better my life. I need to work hard and do extra. I need to feel uncomfortable from time to time or I won’t grow. People are going to say What they’re going to say but that’s life. Consider the source!
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I couldn’t agree more!
Learning to discern when to listen to those sources and when to say “thanks for your input!” and carry on as we were is huge. I know for me I need to stay grounded in my recovery and connected to my community on the daily.
On that, I am so grateful for you and your story and your recovery!
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