“Sangha(community), in a very broad sense, means being willing to let other people in, to let them matter.”
All people matter, all people need community. If they matter, I must be mindful of their life, their backgrounds, what is important to them. Their unique differences from me, make the community better.
I’m joining you on this if you don’t mind. Gonna try to find an online meeting this week. I’ve read some of the book and have it downloaded. Been reading this as well. . .
“Our refusal to accept the way things are leads to wanting, or craving, which is the cause of suffering. We don’t suffer because of the way things are, but because we want—or think we “need”—those things to be different.”
Even with 4 years of sober time, this is something I need to remind myself. My refusal might not lead me to drink today…however: 1) wont make me happy today, 2) could slowly snowball, day after day…and get me right back where I started in 2018.
“Conditions or circumstances in and of themselves don’t cause suffering. They can cause pain or unpleasant experiences, but we add suffering on top of this when we think we “need” those circumstances to be different.”
At face value, on the outside I can let bad things go. While, I know bad things happen in life, and I can move on along and make due with circumstances…I latch on to them, suppressing my mood…acting as if I am ok. I cause suffering to myself by not letting go absolutely.
For example, if a worker pisses me off, I will deal with it, retrain if need be…ect
But it’s in the back of my mind all day long. Even after I have dealt with it.
I totally get this. In my case though I tend more commonly to be pissed off at myself for whatever it is (not other people); but it’s the same thing I figure.
One of the things I love about Buddhism is the idea of equanimity in seeing and integrating suffering. Suffering is here, it is one part of life; not being perfect is one part of life; being in progress and ever changing is one part of life. There’s so much richness in that.
I think this pulls us to explore acceptance more. For me I am working to be more accepting. I’m not sure what that will mean exactly but I’m still here so that must be good
I need to find a way to let it go, inwardly. If that makes sense. It doesnt ruin my day, per say…I can adapt and over come. I think my measurement has been, “a shitty day didnt make me drink, I survived and thrived.” All that is good, but I still latch on to it somewhere in the nether regions of my old brain.
Now, with progress…it use to consume me, attitude and all…now it doesnt.
Learning to observe our emotions, allow them in, and allow them out, is definitely a process. We all get stuck in our reactions at times, fixated on the ‘this is bad’ feeling.
I return often to ‘let go, or be dragged.’ It serves the purpose of reminding ourselves that emotions come and go…it is our attachment to them that brings us suffering.
Love these quotes. Acceptance for me has been key. Not only with alcohol, but challenging situations in life in general. It’s so much easier when you accept and let go of what you can’t control. Also, knowing you are not alone in your suffering.
Some times the universe knows what I need to read. Even for the little things.
From Recovey Dharma
"There may be times when we don’t necessarily want to act in a wholesome manner. We may know what’s the right thing to do, but just don’t want to do it. It’s in these moments when we can focus on our intention. Maybe we aren’t ready to do the difficult thing, to quit a certain behavior, to set a boundary, or forgive someone for whom we hold a resentment. But we can set the intention to do so, and investigate our willingness in meditation by repeating statements like “May I have the willingness to forgive…. May I have the willingness to quit smoking (or skip that piece of cake, or stay off the internet tonight, etc.)…. May I have the willingness to make amends to my partner.”
Do I know this? Yes! Did I need to hear it in another way? Most certainly!