I didn’t realize it until yesterday when I broke my one day record which totally sucks, that my partner is a big drinker and he likes me to drink with him. I went all day Saturday. On Sunday, he wanted to do our usual which is frequent a local brewery during the day. I tried to pass, he got pissy, then I decided to come along. Ended up ordering two beers. I’m surrounded by drinkers. All my neighbors drink too. We watched Tv last night & he was like “you’re not having a beer?” And made me feel awkward about it. Then I realized he thinks I’m his drinking partner. So I guess I’m just looking for some input on what do I do about the situation and what do I do about all of my friends and my neighbors because they’re all big drinkers?
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When I decided to get clean I had to make it a point to let my husband and my friends know that I was working on my sobriety and would no longer be participating in the the things I use to. Even though my addiction was with pills and not alcohol being around it was a trigger. Out of respect for me they understood and didn’t partake in those activites around me. You have to be vocal about your sobriety and honest and make it abundently clear that you cannot and will not be around it. If they respect you and your willingness to get sober than they will understand.
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It’s going to be hard to do if you still keep doing the same things.
The best thing is to be open and honest with your partner, friends, neighbors, yourself, your dog!
If you sobriety means that much then you will change habits, lifestyle, your mindset.
You will have to.
You will struggle if you just tell yourself you’re not drinking and nobody else knows why!
It’s part of growing as a non drinker! Leaving the drinking life behind.
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Question is I guess does it bother you to be around people drinking? Is it a threat to your sobriety or is it the pressure that makes you cave. My partner and my mum who lives with me both still drink wine (neither have a problem with it like I do) at first my partner would make all sorts of comments about me not drinking, he would make jokes like “I don’t trust people who don’t drink” or tell me I’d be boring without it. It was really frustrating to keep insisting I didn’t drink anymore but time did the talking and showed him I meant it, the longer I have been sober the more he respects it, he never asks me anymore, in fact he tells me he is proud of me and often feels bad to drink around me.
IF being around alcohol doesn’t bother you let time show him you mean it and keep strong with saying no, tell him very clearly that it’s not acceptable to pressure you and that your sobriety is your number one priority right now, explain exactly why you need to stop drinking and make sure he understands. HOWEVER, if being around alcohol is a trigger for you you may need to spend some time apart if he cannot respect your boundaries. Is he type of person who will change in time? If so give him that time and experience of sober you. If he is not then do you want to spend the rest of your life being pressured to drink? If your sobriety makes him feel uncomfortable about his own drinking in any way it is likely his comments will continue until he has his drinking buddy back.
Many people here changed everything to get sober, people, places, friends even relationships, it may be that you are someone who needs to do this too and stay away from alcohol entirely for a while until you are stronger, only you know if you are happy to live like this and if you can continue in sobriety with his comments or if he will remain a threat to your goals. If he is unlikely to change maybe the relationship has to go for you to succeed.
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My input: Don’t drink. Be an island of discipline in a sea of dysfunction. Be strong, resolute. Say, “I’ll go with you, to be with you, but I am not drinking. I won’t drink, because I don’t drink.”
Think of it this way: Say you were allergic to shellfish. If you eat it, bad things happen. Your partner and friends want to go to a crab shack, and they want you to go too. Just because you go, doesn’t mean you must eat the crabs.
And if all they want to do is eat shellfish, find some new friends, or be content to dine alone. It’s your life we’re talk about, here.
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Have you had a sit down with your partner and discussed with them that you are trying to not drink? Most, most people will understand when you voice your reasoning and explain why. Others, however, will not understand as like you said you’re their drinking partner. It can be rough, but you don’t need to explain yourself to your neighbors or friends just yet. Just say you’re not in the mood. Grab a soda or something nonalcoholic and hold it in your hand so when asked you can hold it up. This is YOUR journey, don’t put yourself into those situations that make you feel uncomfortable. Start with a simple conversation, express yourself. What’s the worst that can happen?
This sounds so much like my life used to be, it really is much better on the other side! Be firm on doing whatever it takes for you to be sober and make sure those close to you are aware of your decisions, but stick with them. If you think going somewhere or doing something will result in you drinking, don’t do it. Put your sobriety first, no matter what it takes. If they truly want whats best for you, they’ll understand and if they dont that’s ok. Your life depends on it and you will thank yourself later. 
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It sounds to me like you are experiencing 1 of 3 scenarios.
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Your partner is actively trying to sabotage your sobriety because he feels he will lose you if you quit drinking. But here’s the thing. By doing this he is no partner and he will lose you anyway.
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You have not made it clear that you are working on your sobriety and he is just going on with life as normal and does not understand why you are not as enthusiastic as you used to be. In this case he may be acting out from fear that you no longer care for him.
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You are letting the voices in your head talk you into drinking. This is normal. We all fight that internal voice that tells us we can drink. That we deserve a drink. That we’ll stop after just one (which we never do).
You need to figure out which one of the above scenarios is the real one. If it is 1 then I think you need to make a decision as to whether or not you want to be with a person who does not support your goals. If it is 2 then you need to be clear and vocal. If he continues to pressure you then you need to revisit scenario 1 again. If it is actually 3 then you need to have a good heart to heart with yourself to figure out what your goals are and then work out all the things you should be doing to achieve those goals. Perhaps AA meetings (or other sobriety fellowship meetings) will help you gain some skills to fight off the temptations.
Good luck and keep posting!!
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Hes not your drinking partner anymore you both will never drink together again it should be clear to him